TV & Movies

We Finally Know Black Mirror's Return Date!

And the trailers for Season 4 will terrify you

black mirror arkangel poster

(Photo: Netflix Canada)

Black Mirror, the horror series that hits way too close to home, is returning trés soon—the full season will be available on December 29, just in time for some holiday bingeing—and Netflix has been dropping trailers like crazy. If the sneak peeks are any indication, this season is even more messed up than the last and guaranteed to make your skin crawl. Seriously, take your pick and await the instant uptick in your anxiety levels.

Arkangel takes on helicopter parenting, but, like… times one thousand. “It’s completely safe,” says the mom, but knowing series creator Charlie Brooker, it definitely won’t be, right? And what could be safer than poking what looks like a giant needle into a kid’s temple?! *nervous laugh*

Crocodile explores memories. Subjective, often emotional and not always totally accurate memories. Now imagine if someone had a machine that could access an individual’s memories? Tech like that could transform the way crime is handled—as it is in the show, it seems—but, also… the way everything is handled… Like, if this machine were real, could marketers use it to individualize advertisements? This is why Black Mirror is so scary! The possibilities are endless!

Hang the DJ looks like next-level Tinder. While we are extremely unclear about what exactly that cute lil device is that everyone has in their hands, we’re quite sure its capabilities are not cute. Are we imagining things or did those two figure out how long their relationship expiry date just by asking that pseudo-Siri? WTF?! The scariest Black Mirror episodes are always the ones with happy tunes in the background—just saying.

Black Museum is not for the faint-hearted—at least, that’s what we learn in the first 10 seconds of this horrifying trailer. It’s apparently set in the desert (with few people around, no doubt), so we’re already nervous. It also involves carnivalesque music and this creepy dude asking, “How long can the happiness realistically last, anyhow?” Also, we spy BLOOD with our little eyes, and the words “cloning without consent.” All in all, probs having a room filled with “criminological artifacts” is not a great idea. P.S. what is the main attraction?!

The trailer for Metalhead is entirely in black and white… need we say more?

Finally, the trailer for USS Callister tells us literally nothing at all beyond that it’s an ode to Star Trek. We’re not sure how tech gets involved but there’s no doubt it’s scary. Plus, this ep is staaacked with famouses (looking at you, Jesse Plemons).

Excuse us while take several deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the gd mouth.

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