(Photo: Netflix Canada)
Oh, the weather outside is frightful! But those office holiday parties… well, they’re not delightful. Like, handling snowdrifts and -40 wind chill sounds pretty appealing compared to watching Susan from HR sway drunkenly to UB40, Carl from communications tell the same set of dad jokes for the umpteenth year in a row and your boss force-feed everyone dry fruitcake. And did your Secret Santa actually get you Crest Whitestrips? Happy holidays, you yellow-toothed demon!
(And none of that even compares to what’s in store for you at the family gatherings. Stressful adult dynamics aside, there’s nothing quite like watching a group of children tear through a pack of expensive presents like a pack of hyenas, rolling their eyes at your thoughtfully picked books and clothing and reciprocating by giving you the Norwalk virus. Love you, too, Persephone and Jaden. Can’t wait until you’re teenagers.)
But we’re not total grinches! There’s good news in all this yuletide madness: Chances are you’ll finally have some time off to catch up on your shows, and Netflix Canada is adding to the pile with a month of exciting additions. Avoid the trauma and stay on your couch. You deserve it.
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 1
Dead Kids
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish
American Made
Crocodile Dundee
Dinner for Schmucks
Eastsiders, Season 4
Gladiator
Look Who’s Talking Too
HOT PICK: Steel Magnolias
Hell, yes, this is a hot pick, even if it was released in 1989. Starring Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis and Julia Roberts, this dramedy about a group of southern women is a certifiable classic and the ultimate in movie comfort food. It’s also required gay viewing, so if that’s you and you’re reading this, you should watch this ASAP or you’ll lose your membership. They didn’t throw bricks at Stonewall, they threw 35mm film reels of this film. Know your history!
Terminator Genisys
The Duchess
The Greatest Showman
The Lovely Bones
The Shape of Water
The Terminal Titanic
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 2
Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, Season 3, Part 1
Team Kaylie: Part 2
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What’s new on Netflix Canada December 3
Especial de Natal Porta dos Fundos: A Primeira Tentaca de Cristo
HOT PICK: Tiffany Haddish: Black Mitzah
Tiffany Haddish continues her pop cultural dominance with this stand-up special, celebrating her 40th birthday with lots of “singing, dancing and raunchy reflections on her long road to womanhood.” Advance buzz for the special has been great, and Haddish was one of my favourite parts about the awesome (but sadly cancelled) Netflix series TUCA & BERTIE. Check it out.
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 4
Let’s Dance
Los Briceno
Magic for Humans, Season 2
About a Boy
Baby Mama
Charlie Wilson’s War
Cinderella Man
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Jarhead
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Notting Hill
Savages
The Blacklist, Season 6
The Bone Collector
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 5
A Christmas Prince The Royal Baby
Apache: La vida de Carlos Tevez
V Wars
Home for Christmas
Greenleaf, Season 4
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 6
Astronomy Club: The Sketch Show
The Chosen One, Season 2
The Confession Killer
HOT PICK: Fuller House, Season 5
That’s a wrap, dude! After five seasons, the Netflix reboot-quel of the old TGIF sitcom finally calls it a day, as we leave the second generation of the Tanner-Fuller family behind us until their kids grow up and we’re forced to do this all over again. Expect the return of lots of familiar faces (except maybe Lori Loughlin because, well, you know) and lots comfy, nostalgia-stoking jokes.
Glow Up
HOT PICK: Marriage Story
Noah Baumbach (of Frances Ha fame) brings some arthouse fare to the streamer with this dramedy about a married couple going through a traumatic divorce. This film had tons of awards buzz and widespread acclaim, and it stars Scarlett Johansson, Adam Driver, Laura Dern, Alan Alda and Ray Liotta. I’m excited to watch this one.
Spirit Riding Free: The Spirit of Christmas
Teasing Master Takagi-san, Season 2
Three Days of Christmas
Triad Princess
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 8
Light of My Life
HOT PICK: RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular
Yaaaaaaas kween! Slay! You better werk! Testicles pun. The RuPaul money train (and pop culture juggernaut) keeps chugging along with this holiday special, finally bringing drag queens and holiday cheer together in one place. Impress (or annoy) your co-workers with your intricate knowledge of Snatch Game, or stage your own Lip Sync For Your Life in the staff lounge.
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 9
A Family Reunion Christmas
Shameless (US), Season 9
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 10
12 Strong
Michelle Wolf: Joke Show
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 12
Especial de Natal Porta dos Fundos
Jack Whitehall: Christmas with my Father
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 13
HOT PICK: 6 Underground
Michael Bay joins the growing number of directors to bring original content to Netflix with this flick starring Canadian sexpot Ryan Reynolds as the leader of a vigilante squad who fakes his own death to take down notorious criminals. There will be lots of explosions and lots of quips, if you’re into that sort of thing.
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What’s new on Netflix Canada December 14
RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars, Season 4
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 15
Northern Rescue, Season 1
Star Trek
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 17
Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America!
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 18
Don’t F**k With Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer
Soundtrack
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 19
After The Raid
Ultraviolet, Season 2
Twice Upon a Time
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 20
Pet Sematary
The Two Popes
HOT PICK: The Witcher
Henry Cavill retires his super-tights for this epic fantasy series based on the books by the same name about a solitary monster hunter “who struggles to find his place in a world where people often prove more wicked than beasts.” Netflix dumped a pile of money into this and the trailer looks promising—and I’m not even into this sort of thing. Bring on the swordplay! (Also, somehow Cavill still looks hot with those bizarre contacts and that wig, which just makes me angry because I change the part in my hair and somehow look like an extra on The Walking Dead.)
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 24
Carole & Tuesday, Part 2
Como caido del cielo
Crash Landing on You
John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch
Lost in Space, Season 2
Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020, Part 2
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 25
All the Money in the World
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What’s new on Netflix Canada December 26
The App
Le Bazar de la Charite
Fast & Furious Spy Racers
HOT PICK: You, Season 2
Ooooooh, boy. The first season of You was a surprise smash and compulsively watchable, even if getting inside the mind of protagonist and serial stalker Joe (Penn Badgley) left many of us feeling… kinda gross? And the end of the season left us a bit shaken and questioning the point of the journey? Well, the show returns with the surviving cast members, a new location (Los Angeles) and a new woman for Joe to stalk (Victoria Pedretti), and I’m still curious to see where they take this thing. At the very least, Badgley’s performance remains impressive, and people will be talking about it.
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 27
The Gift
Kevin Hart: Don’t F**ck This Up
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 28
Hot Gimmick: Girl Meets Boy
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 30
Alexa & Katie, Season 3
The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.: Reawakened
What’s new on Netflix Canada December 31
The Degenerates, Season 2
The Neighbor
Yanxi Palace: Princess Adventures
Happy Death Day
Made of Honor
Suits, Season 9