— Lamaan (@LamaanGallal) April 28, 2017
This is apparently what you get when you cross Ja Rule’s organizational skills with the star power of models like Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski—half-built disaster relief tents marketed as “luxury glamping” and “chef-curated culinary pop-ups” that are really just ham sammies.
Behold Fyre Festival, the so-called luxury music festival to be held in Bahamas, whose line-up includes Pusha T, Tyga, Blink-182, Major Lazer, Skepta and Disclosure, organized by Ja Rule and promoted by the aforementioned model babes on the ‘gram that just went from chic to chaotic rill quick. (Oh, and did we mention that tix reportedly ran up to $12,000?)
Headliner Blink-182 (are they still a thing?!) pulled out of the festival just hours before throngs of thirsty party-goers and jet-setting trust fund babies arrived on the island of Exuma to find themselves pretty much stranded among unfinished tents, dented old high-school lockers with no actual locks—to “securely” store their wads of cash, of course—no Wi-Fi (RIP FOMO-inducing Instagram stories), the rickety frame of a “concierge tent” and limited food, not to mention reports of muggings as well as feral dogs roaming the grounds.
Since the festival spiralled into a full-on shit show, many involved have been sharing apologies on social media, including Ja Rule all-caps message that he’s for sure sorry but also IT’S NOT HIS FAULT (which was seemingly not enough since Ja and his Fyre Fest partner Billy McFarland were reportedly just smacked with a $100 million lawsuit) and Bella’s sweet message on Twitter about her early promotion of the fest.
While we do sincerely hope the people stranded there are safe (we’re not full monsters) and give Bella et al props for their apologies, Twitter has been straight savage with #fyrefestival and TBH, we are so here for it.
— Becca Morris (@beccamorrisx) April 28, 2017
Millenials: Nobody can pull off a con like Donald Trump!
Ja Rule: Hold my beer. #fyrefestival
— Nathan Martin (@NathanMartin) April 28, 2017
People paid thousands of dollars to go to the Hunger Games #FyreFestival
— G Perikounmpo (@Zarathak23) April 28, 2017
But the award for most sauvage tweet of all goes to:
Don’t worry #fyrefestival, Kendall is bringing Pepsi in the morning
— Alex Konrad (@alexrkonrad) April 28, 2017
You just know Dianne Bruce is somewhere draped in mink swirling a glass of Cab Sauv as she watches this PR nightmare unfold.
Je Suis Ivanka’s Petty Neighbor pic.twitter.com/u3ymnvW31F
— Mitchell Sunderland (@mitchsunderland) April 3, 2017