Our fave girls are back!
The hilariously entertaining duo that is Abbi Abrams and Ilana Wexler—played by comedy queens Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer—will be back on our screens Sept. 13 with the season four premiere of Broad City. Can we get a hell YAAAS?!
While we anxiously await their return, we’ve created a lil’ quiz to find out what character you most identify with. Here, the most important personality test you will ever take: Are you an Abbi, or an Ilana? You’re welcome.
What’s your go-to compliment?
a) “You have the ass of an angel”
b) “I love you”
c) “I’d pick up your poop. You’re worth it”
What’s your primary mode of transit?
a) A bike with a statement helmet because #safety
b) The back of someone else’s bike
c) A cab
What’s your favourite thing about shopping?
a) Scoring hot deals on designer knock-offs. Bonus points if said knock-offs are in sketchy locations
b) 30-day return policies and sample sales
c) Buying thoughtful gifts for others. You like to give
What do you do when you have a crush on someone?
a) Shamelessly flirt and use your sexual prowess to
scare seduce them
b) Make awkward comments while trying to look cool. You have no chill
c) Be there for them and muster up the courage to eventually tell them how you feel
Where do you store your
pot illegal substances?
a) In every corner of your apartment. You also aren’t afraid to hide some on your bod, either, in “nature’s pocket”
b) In your apartment, but if you don’t have any on you, you’ll buy some off a teen in a park
c) In a drawer?
What’s your relationship like with your roommate?
a) You care for them and see them almost as your protégé. You drag them into your shenanigans
b) You never see them, but their boyfriend is legit always around and using your bedroom…
c) You live alone. You’re an adult
What’s your workwear aesthetic?
a) You wear what you want, baby! “Office-appropriate” dress codes are archaic and designed to keep women oppressed
b) You wear what your work wants you to wear—even if that means ill-fitting uniforms. You respect authority
c) You dress real professional like
You’re running low on cash—what do you do?
a) Host a kick-ass party and charge people at the door, duh
b) Rent out your apartment to a rando online
c) Go to work like a normal person
What’s the first thing you do when you get good news?
a) Call your BFF and plan a celebratory date. You might even show up in a new power suit
b) Call your BFF and plan a celebratory date. You might even show up in an oversized power suit
c) Call your crush. You love sharing things with them
How strongly do you feel about rare, collector-edition Beanie Babies?
a) VERY strongly; you’d risk your life protecting one
b) Meh. They were cute as a kid but now they collect dust. Could make for a good “sorry” present, though
c) What’s a Beanie Baby?
How do you feel about nudity?
a) We were born in the nude, baby!
b) If the moment is right, you’ll strip down
c) Fine, if it’s within the context of an intimate relationship
What would you say your biggest personality flaw is?
a) You legit have no filter. You say—and do—whatever comes to mind
b) You can be way too competitive. You may have injured a child once in a game of red rover
c) You can be a bit of a pushover when you care about someone
Who is your drunk alter-ego?
a) Yourself, duh. You’re fab sober and wasted
b) A prohibition-era singer named Val
c) You don’t really have a drunk alter-ego. You’re pretty chill, TBH
What are you most likely to do in the workplace?
a) Hire a bunch of unpaid interns to do your job for you. You’re a problem solver!
b) Develop a secret relationship with your colleague
c) Take personal calls while with clients; your boo comes first
Do you know what “pegging” is?
a) UH DUH. It can be a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity”
b) Is it something to do with a pogo stick?
c) You do, because again, you’re an adult
YAAAS! YOU’RE AN ILANA. You like to live life in the fast lane and you aren’t afraid to show the world your quirky side. While some of your *unconventional* behaviour gets you into trouble, it also makes you the life of the party. Just try to take work more seriously, ok?
You’re an Abbi, duh. You like to have fun but you also try to act like a grown-up most of the time. You have a tendency to find yourself in situations due to your crazy-ass BFF, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You also have a heart of gold (and ass of an angel) and legit care about the people around you. D’awww.
Lincoln, is that you?