What His Texts Really Mean

Texts From Your Ex will strike a chord with anyone who has ever sent or been sent a desperate plea for attention from a heartbroken ex. The Instagram account, which offers screenshots of heated messages between former amours, isn’t just another ha-ha-isn’t-that-hilarious Internet phenom, however. Taken as a whole, it reveals how we deal with breakups, says Irene Oudyk-Suk, a couples’ counselor and sex therapist based in Toronto. And we deal with breakups, generally speaking, pretty badly. When a once cherished bond with someone we cared about is breaking down we react, says Oudyk-Suk. We don’t interact. That’s a problem because it delays the naturally grieving process and so perpetuates a state of upset. “The attachment is breaking down and that sends people into primal panic,” she explains. “When I look at those messages, I see that all over the place.” Primal panic manifests itself in one of two ways: desperate reaching (think ‘I miss you’) and emotional detachment (think ‘Leave me alone, creep’). The content on Texts From Your Ex follows that desperate reach/harsh smackdown reactive pattern almost exclusively, says Oudyk-Suk. We asked her to analyze five texts from the page, and to explain how best to avoid playing into the heartbroken/heartbreaker dynamic. Click through for the lowdown.