At first glance, this may seem like an Onion post, a jokey jab at a common summer affliction that creeps up on women, especially the generously chested, and an inelegant solution that looks like a double hammock for your girls, slung around your neck like a scarf.
But not only is the Ta-Ta Towel a real thing, created in 2015 by L.A.-based Erin Robertson after fretting about unyielding boob sweat before a first date, the loose-fitting garment has sold out, and fast. Sizes range from C-H cups and will set you back $45, once restocked.
While it’s meant to offer temporary reprieve from the boob-prison that padded, underwire bras can be when rising temperatures prove unforgiving, the Ta-Ta Towel looks like a family remedy handed down through generations, a practical if hideous invention that does the trick without any pretensions or claim to be, you know, cute.
As a mama-to-be myself, the idea of slinging my blossoming girls into the towel’s soft rayon after hours of nursing does have a certain imagined appeal but there is no scenario where I would slip into this and then, you know, casually tend to the garden or settle in for movie night. Or make myself visible to anyone in the outside world.
The Ta-Ta Towel Instagram showcases a bevy of beautiful ladies lounging poolside, putting on makeup, sipping a cool drink while wearing the awkward-looking chest scarf without a care in the world, trickles of wetness underneath their bosom seemingly the last thing on their minds. Maybe they’re onto something.