Donald Trump is President. Winter won’t end. It’s only Tuesday. Haven’t we suffered enough?
Looking squarely at the Gucci footwear creation (abomination) that appears to have been cooked up by Davids Lynch and Cronenberg, it seems we haven’t. The Ilse Sock Sandal, which is currently available for pre-order on Nordstrom, will set you back a cool $1,600 and change—and perhaps cost you a few friends, because we don’t recommend staying tight with a person who would let you walk out of the house in these plastic doll appendages.
Yes, the powers that be behind Gucci, specifically designer Alessandro Michele, like to shake us from sartorial stasis with trends that initially seem like a big “hell no!” but then grow on us—but these sandals not only score an 11 on the aggressively glossy scale, they are made in a light tone that basically prevents anyone who isn’t that shade of alabaster from trying to pull them off. Not cool.
We will firmly stand behind the admittedly tricky socks and sandals look, when styled with proper layering techniques of course, but a combo shoe, whether from Prada, who tried to make this work in 2013, or whatever top fashion house decides to give it a whirl—full stop with the Frankenstein’s monster horrors.
And why do brands want to encase our bodies in non-breathable material? Just last week these confounding knee window jeans came into our lives to give the elbows of the legs a reason to show off beaded sweat, and now the Gucci fitted sock-sandal basically demands that you be lathered and lubed to even dream of fitting a foot in, let alone considering the squeakiness that would ensue after wearing these for more than 30 minutes.
What would Cinderella say?