Boobs are a nuisance, and big boobs are downright irritating, like, 98 percent of the time (the other 2 percent of the time, I’ll admit, my D-cups perfectly fill out my fave tube top). Mostly, though, they fly in every direction when all I want is to burn a few cals, or I catch them peeking through my fave button-down during the rare important business meeting I have in my iCal. Even worse, the bras I have in my arsenal to tame these puppies are full of uncomfortable wires and heavy padding. Why can’t I wear dainty bralettes like everyone else?!
Enter: the Evolution tank ($72) from Knixwear. According to Knixwear, this shelf tank—i.e. a tank with a built-in bra—can make all of my big-boobs-gone-braless dreams come true. Made out of nylon and spandex, picture the tradish (and totally useless, might I add) shelf tank, BUT totally redesigned to provide a soft, snug fit that will keep all your goods (read: tatas of all sizes) in place. Plus, it’s machine-washable, totally seamless and the cups are removable. Doesn’t this sound wayyyyy too good to be true?!
It did to me, too. So I tried it out IRL.
Full disclosure: my life is busy as f-ck. I work from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., sometimes I have post-work engagements (#glamour) and after that, I *try* to drag my sorry butt to the closest exercise facility—whether it be the gym, my yoga studio or a good ol’ fashioned jog around the block. What better way to test out the Evolution tank’s “easy transition from work to play” than to wear the tank on a day where I’m doing all three?
First stop: work. I wore the tank sans bra underneath a chunky knit sweater, and all the sweat I hastily produced on my speed-walk to the FLARE office? Wicked away—like magic! On the flip, I didn’t *love* the feeling of the nylon/spandex fabric hugging my tummy all day long. I ended up tucking the tank into my high-waisted jeans so it’d feel more natural on my skin.
Towards the end of the day, I headed across town to conduct an interview and completely forgot I was wearing the tank altogether. It worked its #blessed wicking magic yet again, and I showed up to my meeting dry as a freakin’ bone. This is normally the part of the day where I’m pushing my boobs from side to side, trying to alleviate some of that poke-y wire pain, but NOT today. I’m as cool as a cuc.
After all my biz was handled, I headed to the gym to put in some werk of the other kind. I wasn’t confident enough to go tank-only—the beige is an exact match to my skin tone and, if you looked at me quickly, you def would’ve thought I was naked—so I layered it under a boxy crop top. During my cardio session, I didn’t really like the full torso coverage, but I loved that it didn’t feel like my breasts were bags of slinkies bouncing up and down with every step. They did not move an inch, ferreal.
You def need to try this tank for yourself. While I didn’t adore the fabric enveloping my tummy, the support for my tatas was truly unprecedented. You heard it here first: the Evolution tank allowed me and my D-cup boobs to become friends again.