There’s something about slipping into ultra-tight denim that just feels so damn sexy. Why else would so many of us claim (on Tinder, at least) to be “jeans and T-shirt” girls?
Skinnies may be falling out of favour with the fashion set, but they’re undeniably hot, as the creepers I’ve seen gawking at dem butts on public transit can confirm. What those creepers wouldn’t find hot—one would hope—is the tiny blizzard of dead skin flakes that’s unleashed when lots of us wriggle out of our favourite pairs. Despite my steadfast post-shower lotioning, dry legs seem to be an unavoidable consequence of living in Canada, where the weather changes faster than whatever the Internet is mad about at any given moment. But fashion technology isn’t giving up. Guess, the 35-year-old American clothing brand known for wares as sexy as its bombshell campaign stars (hello, Claudia Schiffer, Adriana Lima, Kate Upton), is launching Jeancare by Guess, a range of skincare-enriched denim promising “touchably soft skin.”
The collection’s crop tops, dresses, shorts, skirts and pants are made from fabric infused with microcapsules that contain blood-flow-boosting ginkgo extract, nourishing vitamin E and antioxidant-rich sea kelp, which made me wonder, could my snow globe days be coming to an end?
Materials: Guess Jeancare leggings, $128, guess.com
Process: When I first slid into these pants of promise, I had a flashback to jeggings, the 2010 trend that induced disturbed head shaking among put-together people everywhere. Fortunately, I’m not one of them. The fabric rivals yoga-pant stretch, and the inner lining is soft, like the expensive jogging pants I swiped from my boyfriend, only lavender-scented! Not at all the slimy sitch I expected, like that Friends scene where Ross desperately pumps lotion into his tight leather pants.
I loved the tummy-cinching elastic panels on both sides of my waist, but they only added to the jegging look, so I threw on a distracting fringed shirt. I wore my pair to work, and it was glorious. Not only could I do the splits at any point (like, if I wanted to), but my legs smelled awesome as I hugged my knees to my face all day. They won for comfort and wonky desk posture, but did they make my skin any less parched?
After a questionable amount of time spent petting my legs, both my boyfriend and I agreed that post-14-hour day, they were softer than they’d been in the morning, with zero microbead residue left behind—and no more leg dandruff! Like regular lotion, the silky effect became much less noticeable after I took a shower. (The hot water either rinsed the smoothing particles away or dried out my skin; it was likely a combination of both.)
With everyday wear, the softness might become longer lasting, but I’ll save that test drive for a future column: “I Tried It…Never Changing My Pants.”
1. Be realistic: The Jeancare pants are great on many levels—cute, comfy and a whole lot sexier than anything else I own with “moisturizing” in the name (no offence, Aveeno). But if you’ve got legs that look like gator-skin boots, you might need some extra help from a heavy slathering of rich cream every night, when cells are in repair mode. Or maybe we need moisturizing pyjamas. Guess, are you listening?
2. Embrace the thong: As with any jean legging, if you wear the wrong undergarment, be prepared for some serious VPL. And there’s potential for camel toe, too. Those concerned about the appearance of a front wedgie may want to try the pants on in good light before buying.
3. Size down: I’m no expert in textile strength, but it seems the moisturizing microbeads in these pants—combined with the soft, thin fabric—make them less sturdy than other jeans or leggings. When the day started, I felt securely tucked into tight pants, but by dinnertime the stretchy material was a bit baggy. Could have been all that desk-chair yoga, though.