From putting Taylor Swift on blast to editing out George Bush, Kim is definitely ride-or-die for Mr. West. And while Kanye seems to think he’s modern culture’s most skilled orator, Kim gets to the core of their messaging—and their brand—without breaking a sweat. But how does Kanye feel about his wife’s revealing interview? We’ve imagined his inner monologue (assuming he keeps any thoughts to himself).
On the Never-Ending Drama with Taylor:
In the case of Kane West v. Taylor Swift, Taylor undoubtedly has the upper hand in the court of public opinion. She is a sweet feminist, and Kanye is a cocky rapper (that’s not even scratching the surface of systemic racial bias, but we digress). Kim is not here for any of it. On the “bitch” lyric in Kanye’s song, “Famous”:
“She totally approved that,” Kim says, shaking her head in annoyance. “She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t. I swear, my husband gets so much shit for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved.”
Kanye’s Take: “Single Ladies” is still one of the best videos of all time! Beyonce lost to what Taylor Swift video again? Oh right, no one remembers.
F-ck, Marry, Kill (Presidents Edition):
We all know how Kanye feels about George W. Bush Jr. (who can forget the post-Katrina outburst, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people”?), but Kim? During the interview, she reviews a video for her app, which includes footage of a game of f-ck, marry, kill with friends. “I love George, though,” Kim says sadly. “I just think he’s cute. Like a cute little president…. And the [Bush] kids sent us a baby gift. Let me think about it.” A few days later, the video goes live on Kim’s app, with that line removed. The cute little president was not approved.
Kanye’s Take: Well at least he never called me a jackass.
On Body Positivity:
The Kardashians have cheekily tweaked the ideal American body image to fit their mold, instead of trying to conform to the status quo. But is it all waist trainers and glutes training? “Even though I’m an ass girl, Kanye always says my boobs don’t get as much credit as they deserve,” Kim explained.
Kanye’s Take: Boobs tee hee.
On Annoying Habits:
According to journalist Caity Weaver, it took the couple more than two minutes to think of an annoying habit the other has—how many normal married couples would even take two seconds to call out their spouse?
Kim and Kanye floundered for what can only be described as an excruciating amount of time, totally unable to think of one goddamn thing she does that drives him crazy. Kim offered suggestions: She moves his clothes. She chastises his messiness. She disagrees with him about what outfits she should wear. None of it drives him crazy. While Kanye tried to think of something on the other end of the line, Kim smothered a cracker with butter and popped it into her mouth. The waiting was boring. It was eerie. It was like, really? Finally, nearly two minutes into the call, a breakthrough: Sometimes a designer will e-mail Kim a sketch of an ensemble and Kanye will request to see it; on occasion Kim forgets to forward the e-mail, so Kanye must ask again and again. This drives him crazy.
Kanye’s Take: (Whispered under his breath) Kris.
On Their Financial Disparity:
After Kanye famously claimed to be $53 million in debt, Kim doesn’t seem to be sweating her bank account.
But it is true that last year she landed the No. 33 spot on Forbes’s list of highest-paid celebrities, while he failed to crack the top 100. Kanye might be the artistic genius in the family, but Kim is the CEO.
Kanye’s Take: Damn, I need to get my allowance early this month.