Love slash fascination with Mariah Carey around the FLARE office is well-documented. From our resident Lambily member defending Mimi‘s Las Vegas residency to droves of editors lining up outside to catch a glimpse of MC at her outdoor holiday mini-concert in downtown Toronto to so. much. anticipation. for the famously private star’s new docuseries on E!, we recently reached peak Mariah-mania. Luckily for us, Mariah’s World premiered last night and it sure didn’t disappoint. Here are the kookiest moments from the dripping-in-diamonds, so-many-sunglasses insanity that was episode 1.
She really is that glam
Mariah doesn’t really do casual so even her most low-key looks (like a maxi dress worn to swing into the ocean from a yacht in Capri) are accessorized with piles of bling and towering heels. We’re also pretty sure we spied a sequined bikini.
A behind-the-scenes look at wedding planning
Unsurprisingly, Mimi planned to wear a *tasteful* tiara with her iced out wedding dress for the now cancelled wedding to her then-fiancé James Packer. Don’t cry for Mimi though, she’s bouncing back just fine with her hunky back-up dancer Bryan Tanaka.
All the insane lingerie she wears for her on-cam interviews
Mimi is splayed across various swanky chaise longues wearing elaborate lingerie with equally ridic luxury items strategically placed in the background (a baby grand piano, enormous roaring fireplace and portrait of HERSELF, to name a few) in every single one of her on-camera interviews. It is everything. Did we mention she wears heels with each of her robe and negligee ensembles? Like we said, everything.
Her gaggle of handsome dancers
Leading her hot, hot team of all-male back-up dancers is creative director Anthony (who, it’s worth noting, is also not hard on the eyes) who made us LOL when he gave the guys a lesson in personal hygiene. Keep it tight for Mimi, fellas.
Her ball-busting potty-mouthed manager-slash-bestie Stella
What do you get when you cross Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey with Gina from The Sopranos? You get Stella, MC’s new no BS manager who went on a firing spree before the show was filmed. She has rules for Mimi’s staff like “no crying in the office” and “no dating for a year after you’re hired” (so you can focus on HRH Mariah’s needs). We love her.
V. v. v. important advice from another Queen
The beauty of this line is that it was delivered while a couple minions laced up her sky-high platform gladiator heels (#classy) aboard the most lavish of yachts—more like a cruise ship, really—before she got into a speedboat to take her to dinner, because, dinner.
Her alter ego/arch nemesis (Mimi’s words, not ours) Bianca Storm
Bianca (who is essensh the same character as Mimi’s opponent in the “Heartbreaker” video) appears in the show in like the first five minutes. It’s obvi Mariah sporting a pin-straight brunette wig wearing decidely more S&M underthings than MC’s silk-and-lace get-ups but we were pretty impressed with her acting skills, ability to keep in character and the fact that she subtly shades Mariah by calling her “Maria”. Bianca subtly shading the queen of low-key shade was almost too meta.
Cocktails in literally (not literally) every scene
We learned very quickly that Mariah knows how to live, as evidenced by the flute of bubbly or glass of red wine in her hand in almost every scene. But she never seems *drunk* or anything because, duh, Mimi is always a dainty-sipping lady.
Her obsession with lighting
This is a recurring theme in the first episode (and, God willing, the series) and the reason behind so many amazing one-liners and cheesy oversized sunnies. She also likes to throw around the word “abusive”—as in “abusive lighting situations” and “these shoes are abusive”—and we’re 100% here for the new vocab.
Her bonkers new tour assistant, Molly
It’s hard to sum up Molly’s weirdness in a few words so we’ll let a Molly quote just speak for itself: “The Apple TV, that’s the most important thing for Miss MC. If she can’t have the Apple TV playing while she’s sleeping, then she can’t sleep. If she can’t sleep, she can’t perform. If she can’t perform, there’s no show. If it’s not there, everything else falls apart.” This was minutes before breaking Stella’s biggest rule: no crying.
In the words of MC herself: