Hot on the heels of Katy Perry’s new CoverGirl collab comes word that Rihanna will be launching a makeup line called Fenty Beauty, while Victoria Beckham is teaming with Estée Lauder on her first ever makeup line. Yes, competition is stiff and the cheeky name competition is even stiffer (Katy has a lock on all the puuuurrrrr and pussy double entendres, natch). So we wanted to help get Posh and RiRi’s creative juices flowing with our best guesses for on-brand beauty names. (You’re welcome, ladies!)
1. Rihanna’s Battleship Blue lipstick: Inspired by her ride-or-die fandom nicknamed the “Navy” and her experimental and badass take on bold lip colors—green, blue, purple, there’s no shade Bad Girl RiRi can’t pull off.
2. VB’s Harper palette: When you are as adorbs as Harper Beckham, you need at least one prod named after you. She’s so cute that she caused a never-before-seen facial spasm in Anna Wintour (rumour has it, she smiled). The rest of us need a little help to get that “born into wealth but still so cute no one will hold it against me” look and a chic palette of neutrals would go a long way to getting that moneyed and youthful glow.
3. Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have My Honey eyeliner: She’s worn red eyeliner to amazing effect, and metallics are right in RiRi’s wheelhouse. A golden honey eyeliner with a touch of shimmer would fit right into any makeup bag.
4. VB’s Spice Up Your Life lip liner. What’s more ’90s than the Spice Girls? Sienna-hued lip liner, that’s what. Remember the old technique: line the lips dark, fill in with a much lighter colour and skip the blending for the full effect.
5. Rihanna’s Free the Nipple bronzer: We have no idea why anyone or anything (looking at you, Instagram) would want Rihanna to put her clothes on. She enjoys being naked as much as the world enjoys seeing her naked, so everybody wins. An all-over body shimmer would certainly be on-brand (nipple piercings not required).
6. VB’s Too Posh to Pout lip gloss: We know Victoria basically invented not smiling in photos (she has said she hates showing her teeth) but her sourpuss is what gave her the nickname “Posh” and it’s one of the million reasons we adore her. For not giving into the public’s annoying and pretty sexist demand for her to “smile more,” we’d stock up on a line that plays off her “too posh to push” (out babies) reputation—and purse our lips proudly.
7. Rihanna’s Hands to God temporary tattoos: We are not all cool or brave enough to pull off hand tattoos quite like RiRi (Maori tribal inspired by traditional Indian henna), but a temporary set could definitely bring us closer to that goal—and make for some wicked Instagram shots.
8. VB’s Beckingham polish: In a nod to her Brit roots (and formerly over-the-top chav style), a polish named after her and David’s former home should come in royal purple—their accent wedding colour.
9. Rihanna’s Blunt brow pencil: Rihanna has some of the most undervalued eyebrows in the game; strong but not overwhelming, and one of the few parts of her look that she never experiments with. Combine a brow pencil with her favourite recreational activity and we can imagine many giggly (but focused!) hours in the mirror, penciling our arches to perfection.
10. VB’s Cheeky cream blush: One thing Victoria isn’t given enough credit for her is playful and self-deprecating sense of humour. Her cheekbones are always a highlight of her makeup look, so why not combine cheek with a bit of cheekiness?