Hey, Tom Hiddleston—We Care Even Less About Hiddleswift Than You Do

We want to hear about it less than you want to talk about it. TRUST.

Tom Hiddleston Taylor Swift leave a restaurant on the Gold Coast, Queensland
(Photo: Getty Images)

Poor Tom Hiddleston. He just can’t seem to catch a break lately—by Hollywood standards, of course. First, there was the rabid press fascination with his romance with Taylor Swift and the Tank Top Incident. If there’s one thing worse than a man in his mid-thirties wearing a sopping wet undershirt to swim with his new GF and her gaggle of besties, it’s wearing one with “I Heart T.S.” scrawled across it in magic marker. If this act of pukey cuteness was meant to endear the general public to a relationship whose authenticity so many people were already doubting, it failed miserably. In just a few short weeks, he went from a Loki heartthrob (see what we did there?) to little more than a T-Swift hanger-on. Not chic.

Then came the Golden Globes debacle, also known as “that time a white British actor talked about how his TV show brought relief to war-ravaged south Sudan and the whole world cringed.” While possibly well-intentioned, the anecdote was a tone deaf, humblebrag-y hot mess and I, for one, couldn’t help but wonder if that was a little Swiftian self-importance left over from his time on Planet Taylor. While Hiddleston swiftly (ha) apologized for his epic foot-in-mouth moment, his once-shining reputation has yet to fully recover. If anything, the last year or so has made me go “ugh, him again?” whenever he pops up on the screen.

Now this. Poor ol’ Tom Hiddleston getting his knickers in a little twist over questions about his Hiddleswift romance. And yes, I know he can’t control what a journalist asks, so my rant is really two-fold. Firstly, hey, journalists! Stop asking about this. NO ONE CARES. I know I don’t speak for the world but I’m willing to bet my beloved sparkly sock collection that most of the general public is with me. And secondly, has the last year taught you nothing, Hiddleston?! When you show how very bothered you are by a question like this—about your insignificant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things, brief and largely forgotten romance with a once-pristine pop star—even if your point about privacy is pretty valid, you come off as even more un-self-aware and self-important than when you sang your white privilege from the Golden Globes podium. The sooner people stop asking about it, and he stops getting his feathers ruffled about it, the sooner we can forget Hiddleswift happened, amirite?

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