Australia You know that guy at the gym that always wants to show you how to swing your kettlebell properly? Wouldn’t it be so wonderful if he looked like James Troisi instead of Joe Pesci? The Aussie midfielder, who is making his World Cup debut, gets his good looks from his Greek-Italian heritage, a cultural mash-up we heartily approve of because the end result is 100 per cent hunk.
Netherlands Guys in their 20s are great, what with their Ken-doll skin and full heads of hair. But there’s something about a man in his thirties that excites us, especially when he looks like Wesley Sneijder. The midfielder has perfected the tattooed/shaved head look, which holds a special place in the pantheon of incomprehensibly attractive male archetypes—you know it’s wrong but maybe that’s what makes it so damn appealing.