We start this week’s episode off with Chris Harrison asking a v. confused Nick, “Are you ready to throw in the towel and walk away from all of this?” Quick side note: Nick, don’t you have a contract? Like, you’re def not allowed to just quit The Bachelor, right? Anyway, after A LOT of build-up (cue all the dramatic music ever) Nick goes to see the girls and tells them he’s going to stick it out. And instead of having a Rose Ceremony, Nick continues to write his own rules and take the girls to their next location: Bimini! We’ve never heard of it, but apparently it’s in the Bahamas.
The first date card of the week arrives and Vanessa gets her second one-on-one! Sucks to be Corinne, who hasn’t even had one one-on-one yet.
As expected, Corinne does not take the news well. She’s super pissed and also apparently really bloated so girl’s just having a bad day all around.
Time for Vanessa’s date! UGH she’s such an effortless beauty.
Vanessa opens up to Nick about being confused by his major meltdown last week and they get everything cleared up. Then they spend the rest of the day just being the cutest couple ever and V confesses in her ITM that she’s falling in love with Nick!
Fast-forward to the evening portion of their date: Vanessa (who’s looking GORGE, btw) takes the plunge and tells Nick she’s falling in love with him.
Nick responds with what we thought was a v. reasonable speech about wanting to take things slow this time around. But that’s obvi not what Vanessa wanted to hear and she’s upset that he didn’t say ILY back. K but, isn’t Rule #1 in The Bachelor playbook that the Bachelor (or Bachelorette) ISN’T supposed to say “I love you” until the very end? (Minus rule-breaker Ben.) It’s like Vanessa doesn’t know how this show works. Full disclosure: We love V, we really do, but it’s really annoying hearing her complain about the fundamental elements of the show.
Group date time!! The girls are going to be spending the day on a yacht, which is great news for Corinne because, duh, she looks great on a yacht.
Corinne immediately strips down into her bathing suit but Nick doesn’t even notice because he’s so busy applying sunscreen to Kristina’s inner thighs. This is awkward to watch.
Then, Nick tells the girls they’re going to be swimming with sharks and the girls are like, “K BYEE you’re def not worth dying over, Nick.” Kristina’s so not down for swimming with sharks that she gets back on the boat after like five minutes and Nick goes with her to comfort her. Hmmm, maybe that was her plan all along?
Moving on to the evening portion of the group date—Corinne’s either been crying all afternoon or drinking all afternoon because her eyes are srsly messed up.
Nick pulls Kristina aside first and Corinne starts stress eating cheese because she’s getting no attention from Nick. (Side note: We’re not doctors, but could this be why she’s so bloated?)
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, we find out Danielle M is getting the next one-on-one! Aw, she’s so cute.
Back on the group date, Corinne finally gets some time with Nick. She tells him that she’s upset she hasn’t had a one-on-one date with him yet and of course, Nick gives her all the reassurance she needed. So hopefully no more cheese for Corinne.
Nick gives Raven the group date rose for a second week in a row! YAASS girl. And they ditch Corinne and Kristina for a romantic night on the beach.
And now it’s time for Danielle M’s one-on-one! This should be a good date.
Ummm wait, this is so awkward. They literally have zero interesting things to talk about. This is basically how their convo went:
Nick: “So hometown dates next week.”
Danielle L: “Yep.”
Nick: “Yeah. Hometowns.”
Danielle L: “I want to take you to my cabin.”
Nick: “Oh cool.”
Danielle L: “Yeah.”
*Both sip beer to avoid more awkward conversation*
Now moving on to their dinner date: Nick’s praying for some decent conversation (and so are we). Danielle opens up to Nick about how much she cares for him, and it’s instantly obvious that Nick’s sending her home.
Annnnd we were right. He sends her home in the middle of their date. Classic Nick.
Now that Nick’s just sending girls home whenever he feels like it, Corinne decides she needs to take action to save herself in the next Rose Ceremony. So she puts on a sexy top and sneaks over to Nick’s hotel room in hopes of hooking up with him.
Oh, she also gave us the best/most disgusting quote in Bach history:
Corinne gets to Nick’s room; they make out on the couch for a bit and then move things over to the bedroom. And just when we thought Nick was going to srsly disappoint us, he actually makes his first good decision in a while and sends Corinne back to her room. Good boy.
And now our girl Rachel gets her second one-on-one! She starts fanning herself when Nick walks in because she’s so nervous to see him and it’s just the cutest thing ever.
They have a casual day just being boyfriend and girlfriend, nothing crazy happened but they’re v. cute together.
Rachel comes back from her date on cloud nine and just being super confident about their relationship so Corinne starts freaking out that she might go home.
Then, Nick tells Chris Harrison that he doesn’t want to send a certain girl home during Rose Ceremony because he respects her too much. And we’re all just like, “OMG who is it!? Vanessa? Could it be Rache…WHAT it’s Kristina!?”
So Nick pulls Kristina aside to break up with her and you can tell he’s genuinely upset. We actually *really* respect him for doing this the way he did.
And just like that, Corinne gets a hometown date. What has The Bachelor become?
Tune into The Bachelor Mondays on Omni at 8:00 EST/PST—and catch up on past episodes at www.omnitv.ca/the-bachelor.