Being one of the world’s most recognizable celebs must be hard. You can’t just pop out to the drugstore sans makeup for Imodium or have a sloppy bar make-out sesh with a new lover without pics of you ending up all over the internet and headlines about your diarrhea attack and/or new mans. So what’s a girl to do when she just wants to slip out of her v. famous apartment building unnoticed? Why, tuck yourself into an enormous suitcase and get carried out by bodyguards, of course. That’s exactly what people on the internet think T-Swift did after a photo agency titled a series of images “Is Taylor Swift being transported in a huge suitcase from her Tribeca apartment??” (the title has since been revised to “Taylor Swift’s security guards are seen moving a huge case into the trunk of an awaiting SUV”) and as silly as it is, we kinda hope the Taylor Swift in a box theory is true because it is the funniest shit we’ve read in a minute.
Before we get into other potential explanations, let’s all slow-clap for the person who wins for best Taylor Swift in a box tweet:
Cute pic of Tom Hiddleston adn Taylor Swift when they were together pic.twitter.com/xtrpQkJGO9
— lauren yap (@itslaurenyap) July 17, 2017
Now, it’s perfectly reasonable to consider the possibility that there is not a blonde-haired human hiding in that suitcase. People move all kinds of stuff in gigantic hardshell luggage! But what, pray tell, are these two burly dudes moving that is heavy enough to require both of them carrying this precious cargo with both hands? Here are a few options:
Clothes are the most common thing one might cram into a huge piece of luggage but unless T-Swift’s got a suit of armour (her good pal Ed Sheeran’s Game of Thrones guest spot costume, perhaps?) in that case, I can’t think of a reason it would require all that man power. I’ve carried a suitcase full of clothes just as big down a couple flights of stairs without the assistance of hired help.
Heavy music equipment
This is the most plausible theory and therefore our least favourite. Onto more fun ideas.
All her GRAMMYs, VMAs and Billboard Music Awards hardware—she’s won nearly 350 awards from various awards shows
To have them polished and returned to her trophy room, naturally.
A dead body?
JK, it’s obviously Taylor in that box. Case closed.