Despite being a proud member of the LGBTQ community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Stephanie Beatriz hasn’t always felt like she belonged at Pride.
In a raw and deeply honest personal essay for GQ magazine, the 37-year-old opened up about the struggles she’s faced as a bisexual woman. “Bisexuality often needs an explanation. It isn’t something you can often ‘read’ on a person, and because of that bi people sometimes feel like an invisible part of the LGBTQIA community,” she wrote. “People’s sexuality is often defined by who we’re partnered with at any given moment, which can be a frustrating limitation for me.”
Because of the stigma she’s faced, appearing at this year’s D.C. Pride Parade with her fiancé, actor Brad Hoss, was a nerve-wracking move for the celeb. “I’ve only been to one other Pride as an out bi person, and here I was, about to board a float with my heterosexual cis-male partner in tow,” she said. “My mental saboteur screamed at me from inside my brain: ‘You don’t belong here! This isn’t for you! You’re not gay enough to be here, how dare you?’”
Any nerves the Brooklyn Nine-Nine star felt disappeared quickly as her float—which also carried Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown—began to proceed through the parade’s massive crowd. For the Beatriz, the experience was unforgettable.
“It was f-cking electric.” she said. “When I tell you I have never been moved like that, it is not a lie. There were so many times I would lock eyes with someone yelling my name and we would simultaneously yell ‘I love you’ at each other.”
Despite feeling some serious love at the D.C. parade, the actor admits that she still sometimes feels like an outsider in her own community. However, Beatriz is choosing the walk the path of self-acceptance. “In October, I will marry a heterosexual man. We’ll make vows that I will take very seriously—till death do us part. But I’ll be bi till the day I die, baby, and I vow to myself to always sing that truth.”
The essay sparked widespread support and praise from fans of the actor, with some even relating the celeb’s experiences to their own.
being bi is very complicated & i always feel not straight enough and not gay enough simultaneously & kinda guilty if i have a crush that isn’t gay like im letting down the team anyway happy #PrideMonth! @iamstephbeatz is an angel & my crush 4everhttps://t.co/8rkzbXJveG
— gemini emo (@aislina) June 21, 2018
Thank you, @iamstephbeatz , for explaining the bisexual experience so perfectly! It reflects my truth in so many ways! If I am ever lucky enough I find “the one”, woman or man, I am fully bisexual, and always will be! https://t.co/pplVqzUSH4
— Juliet Morriga (@Juliet_Morriga) June 21, 2018
— Chrissa Hardy (@chrissahardy) June 21, 2018
Happy Pride everyone.