In case you didn’t see this before bed last night and endure nightmares like *I* did, there’s a brand new Ryan Gosling wax figure at Madame Tussauds in Berlin and it’s… wrong. When I saw the headline sans image preview on my phone, I thought “Chic! A new wax Gosling likeness timed perfectly with his Oscar nomination for La La Land, how nice. Can’t wait to gaze upon his waxy visage!” before clicking through to something truly chilling.
Not so bad, you say? Sure, this person (a stranger, really, ’cause it’s definitely #NotMyGosling) isn’t bad looking, and I have to give credit where it’s due—the eyes are good. I almost feel like they’re saying “Hey girl, I hate this wax figure of myself.” But pretty much everything else—like that curly upper lip and too-long wispy facial hair *shudder*—is so close, yet so very, very far from what our sacred, beloved, Canadian treasure really looks like.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy the gargantuan task the Madame Tussauds team faced. How do you recreate a face that’s so perfect it’s as though a hundred baby angels carved it out with teeny gold chisels? It’s too much to ask of any artist. But I also have to ponder how this subtle yet wholly unsettling mess made it from draft to final. Was someone sick that day? Did they whip it up Monday morning when someone realized the Oscars noms were going to be announced the next day? And WHY IS HE SO CHIN-Y?
All I know is this: the Gos deserves better, and so do we.
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