Why Rupert Sanders' K-Stew Affair Comments Are Not Cool

While the director acknowledged his "mistake," his take on the relationship is super-problematic

Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders

(Photo: Getty)

Rupert Sanders has opened up about his affair with Kristen Stewart—and his explanation for the fling is rill lame.

In a recent interview with Metro, Sanders addressed the 2012 romance that blossomed while he was directing Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman, calling it “a momentary lapse.”

“You never know what’s coming in life,” Sanders said. “Around every corner there’s something unexpected, and that’s life. You just have to brush yourself off and continue moving forward the best you can. Everyone makes mistakes. I am bound to make more mistakes, and I wouldn’t expect my life to be exciting if I didn’t.”

Say whaaaaat? Your life wouldn’t be “exciting” if you didn’t cheat?!

Sanders’ explanation is super-problematic. First off, he’s basically excusing himself from the burden of wrongdoing, and placing the blame on “unexpected” things in life, a.k.a Stewart, that are everywhere, like at work, just waiting to drag him off-course. Sanders’ take on the affair perpetuates the idea that tempting women cause men to cheat, when, really, both parties make the decision to get intimate and betray their partners. Five years after the “mistake” that ended his marriage with model Liberty Ross, the director’s attitude towards the whole thing is basically one big ol’ “meh.”

It’s also troublesome that Sanders fails to acknowledge how the relationship affected Stewart—who was 22 and dating Twilight co-start Robert Pattinson at the time. When news of the relationship broke, people legit hated on Stewart far more than they did on him. The actor was attacked, villainized. She was called “the other woman” and labeled a homewrecker—even years after the affair ended. Throughout his comments on the incident, the 46-year-old makes no mention of his two kids with ex-wife Ross, either, who told Vanity Fair in 2013 that the affair “was really the worst.”

While the whole cheating thing wasn’t ideal, the problem is not the affair itself; people make their own decisions and deal with the consequences. Both Stewart and Sanders publicly apologized for their infidelities at the time and ended their affair. The problem lies in the fact that Sanders’ recent remarks reveal a mindset that greatly differs from his initial response: he was deeply sorry when he was caught but now he’s brushing everything off as “life.” Was he sorry? Or just sorry he was caught?

We’re not here to judge on people’s past decisions. We’re only humans, after all, and everyone makes mistakes. I made a mistake last Friday night when I ate an entire box of truffles and had a bellyache all weekend. But while bad choices are undoubtedly part of life, Sanders could at least avoid perpetuating the femme fatale stereotype, pretend he’s learned from his mistakes, and express a little compassion for those he hurt. Now that would be exciting.

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