Red Carpet

Hilarious Conservative Dress Code In Effect For Sunday's Grammys

CBS, the American station that will be airing the Grammys, has ordered starlets to cover up breasts and buttocks this year

Grammys 2012: Best Hair Rihanna

Photo by Keystone Press

Sorry, Rihanna! Last year’s cleavage is not allowed to make a comeback at the 55th annual Grammys on Sunday. American station CBS, who will be airing the award show, has ordered a dress code advisory for all attendees who want to appear on camera.

The dress code, which was first published on Deadline Hollywood, reads:

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under  curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.”

Keeping “puffy” genitals under wraps is a good call, CBS, but no cleavage? No sheer panels? It’s pretty short notice for a costume change! Besides, a little bit of scandal and a tiny hint of nudity is everything we love about the Grammys. Is the average audience actually offended when Angelina Jolie exposes a little thigh or January Jones rocks a cut-out dress? Here at FLARE, we’re envious, not scandalized.