Kara and Roxy: Enemies
They started the show as old pals, but after some early drama, Kara and Roxy are at the centre of RHOT’s most heated battle. Last week, Roxy threw a tequila party—and left Kara off the guest list. This week both women attend Joan’s annual Muskoka Dock Party (which gets capital letters because it is apparently “the event of the summer”), and Roxy has to stay to make alternate arrangement when Kara takes back the invitation to stay with her at the last minute. At the big event (which looks more like a college keg party than fancy soirée), Kara tells the gang that she wants to throw her own special event (for “just the six of [them]”) at her cottage on Wednesday. The theme will be Rivello on Rosseau. But wait!!! Wednesday is Roxy’s b-day and Kara totally knew that she was planning on throwing a “rustic Italian”-themed dinner party. In the Housewives universe, pinching a party theme is pretty much like cutting someone’s heart out with a rusty chainsaw, so, yeah—this is war.
Roxy and Ann: Frenemies
This relationship feels kind of like a little sis/big sis thing with Roxy clearly looking up to Ann for her fashion sense and skilled social maneuvering. When Kara dis-invites Roxy from her cottage, Ann says she can stay at her place (read: palatial estate). And when Ann suffers from some a mysterious fake drama intended to make the episode more exciting sunstroke, Roxy is there to hold a cold glass of water against her forehead. Mostly these women seem like BFFs in the making, except for that scene where Roxy tells Ann that she’s worried her dock party outfit is see-through and Ann says that it absolutely isn’t…even though it totally is!!!!.
Jana and Kara: Friends (For Now)
Like everyone else who met Kara for the first time at Ann’s now infamous “procedure party,” Jana was not so impressed. Still, she accepts Kara’s invite to come over for a chat, and the women bond instantly over their shared love for maca root smoothies. Kara asks Jana if she makes a bad first impression and Jana admits that she found her “confusing.” They agree that it was all one big misunderstanding, and Jana seems comforted to hear that Kara occasionally drinks wine.
Kara and Joan: Frenemies
Joan wants to chat with Kara before the big dock party to make sure there’s no tension. After a game of “I’m busier than you are,” they agree that Joan will drop by Kara’s (even though Joan is hosting 700 people the next day). Joan is like that friend who pretends to be above the drama, but still seems to enjoy stoking the flames (as was the case when she told Kara Ann and Roxy are becoming close). Before she leaves she warns Kara that the party tends to get pretty wild and Kara seems nervous.
Jana and Roxy: Frenemies
This one was subtle by Housewives standards, but when Jana, Roxy and Ann take Ann’s private plane to Muskoka, Jana’s groovy guru persona and Roxy’s “loud Roxy voice” seems a little at odds. And since nothing in Housewives-land is an accident, we’re thinking these two will rub up against each other again in the future.
Anne and Underwear: Sworn Enemies
A top contender for scene of the week was Ann visiting her seamstress before heading up to Muskoka. Among the things she needs “taken in” are a fishing vest, a pair of thigh-high galoshes and a waterski suit. Mantras come a mile a minute: “Everything should be fitted.” “Why would you not try to look the best you can?” “You never, never know who’s going to see you on a jet ski.” And then Ann returns to her favourite subject, saying that if she wore underwear, “they would be fitted,” but (as we learned last week) she doesn’t. Apparently ever.
Jenna and Grego and Joan: Friends
These three seem like they are actually friends when the cameras stop rolling (and the wine keeps flowing). The end of this week’s episode featured all three dancing on the dock before engaging in that age-old bonding ritual known as the group skinny dip.
Grego and bubbly: Very Good Friends
Grego is the “life of the party girl,” which means in almost every shot she is popping a bottle of bubbly, or talking about how much they’re going to drink, or asking if they should have another (answer: yes!). This is probably less a reflection of Grego and more a reflection of how the producers want us to see her, but it’s also not entirely trumped up. (Note the skinny dip scene when she offers a toast “to the stars and moon.” You know you’ve had a few when…)
Ann and Molly: Frenemies
Back by popular demand is Ann’s surly daughter Molly, who is once again questioning her mother’s fashion instincts as Ann and Roxy prepare for Joan’s bash. This week Molly asks her mom why she is dressing like a Disney Princess to a casual dock party and why she would need a purse that is the size of a tiny singing bird. Someone get this sourpuss an agent.
Kara and the dark: Enemies
Just a theory here, but could Kara be some kind of bizarro vampire who only comes out in the light and hates wine instead of garlic? She arrives at the party ready to prove what a good time she can be and then decides that it’s time to go home before things even get started. Her stated reason (she doesn’t like to boat in the dark) doesn’t make a ton of sense since surely there is some RHOT producer on set who could drive her home at any hour.