Get ready everyone, because the apocalypse—or should we say, acrocalypse—is nigh, and as we long expected, it has to do with Post Malone.
The “Better Now” rapper confirmed that we are 100% in the upside-down place, announcing the release and success of his signature, limited-edition Crocs on November 1. The Post Malone x Crocs Dmitri Clog feature the classic clog with a yellow baby devil face design, and six custom thingamabobs that go in the holes (known in the biz as Jibbitz, or shoe charms) that represent the rapper in all his glory, including a recreation of his infamous “Stay Away” face tattoo and his Posty. Co logo. The collab sold out in 10 minutes.
“my first collab with @crocs is SOLD OUT already!” the rapper captioned an Instagram photo of himself wearing his namesake shoes.
In a press release, Malone shared his love for the brand, saying, “If you like something, go get it. I wear Crocs everywhere from the bar to the stage and I felt it was the perfect collaboration to get together with Crocs and give the fans what they’ve been asking for.”
Glad the croc community is finally getting the recognition it deserves
— Kaitlyn ☀️ (@Kaitlyn_Hirst) June 6, 2018
First of all, *who* exactly has been asking for this?
Even more shocking? It wasn’t only us regular plebes thirsting for Posty’s $60 USD shoes, but celebs as well, including Madonna. “Omg I love those. How can i get some??” the singer commented on the rapper’s Insta post. Colour us surprised.
But not *too* surprised, because this isn’t the first time everyone’s favourite gardening shoe—also favoured by grandparents and nurses—has gone viral.
Most recently, in June 2018, NYC-based streetwear label Alife released a three-part Crocs collaboration that retailed for $80-$600 USD and included a sock-Croc hybrid—a *very* unchic lewk that reminds us of fellow slides lover Justin Bieber, and one that also seems both unnecessary and really hot.
That collab also included a style that featured different NYC landmarks, including the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge and the Empire State Building. (Because nothing says life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness like one’s ability to wear truly atrocious shoes.)
In 2017, Balenciaga showed its Foam shoes, a platform twist on the classic Croc, at its spring ’18 show, featuring an elevated platform with all the staples Crocs purists know and love (including Jibbitz, OF COURSE). And in 2016, British designer Christopher Kane started it all, sending rhinestone-embellished Crocs down the runway.
— Balenciaga (@BALENCIAGA) October 1, 2017
In all seriousness, those aforementioned high-low partnerships make some sort of sense, or—at the very least—a balancing of the scales, for Crocs. The questionable style cred of the rubber clog was offset by the luxe-ness of Balenciaga and Christopher Kane, and the streetwear cool of Alife. But the collaboration with Malone—who’s known for regrettable face tattoos, an aesthetic most aptly described as “unwashed,” a style that has been described by Vogue as resembling “a sweet Hells Angels reject,” and delightful lyrics such as: “Ayy, I’ve been fuckin’ hoes and poppin’ pillies”—not only doesn’t make sense, but it’s seriously just too low-low. It’s one thing to have Post Malone and Crocs on their own, but together? Thank u, next.