The GRAMMYs: that one magical night when the music industry scrapes together all the leather, netting and denim in Los Angeles and steps out to celebrate their own. If we had our way, the ceremony would go a little like this:
Pharrell debuts a new Vivienne Westwood hat that houses an eco-friendly squirrel habitat.
Jennifer Lopez’s green Versace is dethroned as Most Plunging Neckline of All Time by Harry Styles’ T-shirt.
Frozen wins Best Compilation Soundtrack, inspiring a Kanye West rant on global warming.
The booty obsession reaches its natural apex as Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith twerk through a duet of “Stay With Me.” Taylor Swift dances.
Miranda Lambert thanks Nick Jonas for “making Mama feel again.”
Jack White offers an olive branch to fellow nominees the Black Keys by proposing supergroup Black & White.
Barbra Streisand and Weird Al Yankovic duet on “People Who Need Meatloaf.” Taylor Swift dances.
Sam Smith accepts Album of the Year by unzipping his face to reveal that he is actually Adele.