Celebrity

Madonna on Howard Stern: Cape-Gate, Tupac (?!) & More

What happens when the King of All Media meets the Queen of Pop?

(Photo: Getty Images)

Her Madgesty at the 57th Annual GRAMMY Awards (Photo: Getty Images)

Madonna made her first-ever appearance on The Howard Stern Show yesterday (which moved to a special time to accommodate her schedule). We listened to the entire hour-and-a-half interview to bring you the highlights:

On work: “I focus on the things I haven’t done yet.” There’s no nostalgia here; she’s constantly looking toward the next performance, next single, next tour. She hasn’t survived 30 years in the business by polishing her trophies.

On motherhood: Stern told Madonna that co-host Robyn Quivers had said Madonna doesn’t raise her kids (um, awkward!), to which Madge took great offence, telling Stern that yes, she has help, she is the one who teaches her kids morals and make no mistake about it, she is a very hands-on parent. She counts the controversy around her adoptions as one of the most disheartening and bizarre experiences of her life. “I do love it. It’s also exhausting.”

Photo by Startraks Photo

With daughter Lourdes (Photo: Startraks Photo)

On her teenage years: “I was smart, but I didn’t socialize really. I didn’t have friends… I always felt like an outsider growing up… My house was not a fun place to bring people to.” Madonna thought her high school peers were idiots. She’s probably right.

On basic bitches: Moving to an affluent suburb as a teen, Madonna felt like a country pumpkin and grew resentful and restless. “I can’t be around basic, provincial-thinking people.”

On getting fired: “I worked at Dunkin’ Donuts… I could be the CEO of Dunkin’ Donuts.” Madge was fired a week in for playing with the jelly squirter machine. She was also fired from the Russian Tea Room for wearing fishnets.

On famous friends: “I do get to meet everyone, but they don’t necessarily become friends.” She also confirms a long-time suspicion of ourscelebrities are sort of boring and weird around other celebrities.

(Photo: Joyce Silverstein/REX USA)

At the Oscars with Michael Jackson in 1991 (Photo: Joyce Silverstein/REX USA)

On retirement: “Every three days I say, That’s it, I’m moving to a cabin and living in a forest and no one’s going to f-ck with me anymore.” Of course, that impulse doesn’t last very long.

On sick days: “I don’t cancel. I don’t quit.” She was fighting a cold but preparing for a performance and tour with a rehearsal in Brooklyn after the interview. But she does love Purell.

On big expectations: “I do feel trapped sometimes… The expectation of touring, you have to show up, you have to give people a great show and sometimes you don’t feel like it.” So, even Madonna can get a case of the Mondays. Except her big meeting is 20,000 fans waiting in a football stadium for her.

On her infamous F-bomb-filled Letterman experience: “I was dating Tupac Shakur at the time.” Say what?! Apparently, Tupac got her all riled up before her appearance. Which actually explains so much.

On her marriages: “Why they didn’t work? I did, I figured it out.” But she won’t tell us. She does mention that she’s a strong independent artist and many men can’t handle it. After being told she needs a massively successful man, she responds, “But Sean was successful.” Guess we know where Guy Ritchie stands.

On philanthropy: “I take care of countries, come on.” She certainly isn’t a material girl, and she notes that she takes care of a lot of people and is heavily involved in philanthropic causes that cost money. And money means work, b*tch.

On Basquiat: “He wouldn’t stop doing heroin.” He made her give back all the art he had gifted her, then he painted over them in black.

On Truth or Dare: “I think I did good.” We agree. Truth or Dare influenced a new genre of entertainmentreality TV.

On Lenny Kravitz: “To create with somebody is a great aphrodisiac.” Yes, she fell in lust with Lenny. Who wouldn’t?

Madonna

On cape-gate: “They are trained on the beat, remove that cape.” She said she wasn’t angry with her team, she was angry with herself. (But, um, has anyone checked on her stylist or those two dancers?)

10 More Tidbits:

Warren Beatty influenced “Vogue.”

Her new album has a post-apocalyptic love song.

She remembers Irene Cara’s name (Fame!)

She still thinks Antonio Banderas is hot (and says Melanie Griffiths never left his side when they filmed together).

The most expensive painting she ever bought was by Francis Bacon.

She believes astrology is a science, but not the horoscopes you read in the paper.

She’s not on Tinder.

Madonna and Sean Penn double-dated with Mike Tyson and Robin Givens. The men got very drunk.

She still hangs with Rosie O’Donnell.

She believes in reincarnation, the soul’s energy and hence, her own immortality. (We co-sign.)

Related: 5 juicy confessions from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Howard Stern interview