Kristen Stewart Said She Would Have Married Rob Pattinson (but It’s None of Our Business)

Women are continually defined in relation to their partners

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson pose on the red carpet

(Photo: Getty Images)

Six years after the end of their relationship, it appears that Kristen Stewart just can’t escape Robert Pattinson—or the public’s obsession with them as a couple. Appearing on the The Howard Stern Show on November 5, the Charlie’s Angels actor opened about her current relationship, telling the host that she’s ready to propose to her partner, Dylan Meyer. While it makes sense for Stewart to talk about her current beau (and seriously, we’re thrilled for ya, K-Stew,) Stern just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie. The host proceeded to ask Stewart about her relationship with Pattinson, specifically whether or not she would have married her Twilight co-star. “Was there a point you would’ve gotten married, do you think?” Stern asked the star.

And seriously? I have to roll my eyes. Because, aren’t we past this? FWIW, Stewart *did* answer the question (“I wanted to … yeah”), but she shouldn’t have had to. Because it’s straight up nobody’s business.

Stewart and Pattinson were the couple for of the 2000s

Whether or not you were Team Edward or Team Jacob (Team Edward FTW!) there was one IRL relationship all tweens could agree on. You couldn’t go anywhere in the late 2000s without seeing Stewart and Pattinson plastered all over mags. Before Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, this pair of vamps were the *it* couple; bringing fan’s Twilight fantasies off the screen.

We loved it! The awkward, heavy eye contact between the two, the looks of fear they had when photographed on the red carpet, R-Patz’s perpetually unwashed hair—the fan fic wrote itself! For about five years the couple was hot and heavy before splitting up in May 2013 after a cheating scandal involving Stewart and her Snow White and the Hunstman director Rupert Sanders.

Little shipper hearts across the world were broken at the news, but like many young couples, the pair parted ways.

Since their breakup, they’ve made it clear they value privacy

Throughout their relationship, both Pattinson and Stewart were mum when it came to the ins-and-outs of their coupling. They were rarely photographed holding hands or packing on the PDA, despite rabid fans hounding them for an inkling of info. And, aside from K-Stew’s *very* public apology post-cheating scandal, the pair have remained tight-lipped about the dissolution of their relationship; making it clear that they’re more than happy to keep private things private.

So seriously, Howard, take a hint.

And the constant attention on their relationship was stressful

Since 2013, the only real commentary the pair have made on *anything* relationship-related, is to talk about how stressful prying eyes and ears were when they were in the thick of it.  Talking to Stern about the time during which they dated, Stewart commented on the struggles of keeping themselves so closed off, telling the host: “But then you deprive yourself of so many experiences. We didn’t walk down the street holding hands because we were like, “We don’t wanna give it to ’em”. But then, we didn’t get to walk down the street holding hands, and it sucked.”

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Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar UK in September, Stewart revealed that since breaking up with Pattinson, she’s worked to change her mentality towards sharing her relationships, in order to help them thrive. “I think I just wanted to enjoy my life,” she told the publication. “And that took precedence over protecting my life, because in protecting it, I was ruining it. Like what, you can’t go outside with who you’re with? You can’t talk about it in an interview?”

And they both seem to have let go

Since their break-up, it’s safe to say that both K-Stew and R-Patz have moved on and, TBQH, seem better for it. In the six years that they’ve been apart, Pattinson has gone on to date, get engaged to and break-up with singer FKA Twigs. He’s currently dating model Suki Waterhouse. For her part, Stewart has gone on to become a full-blown queer icon; frequently speaking out about her fluid sexuality and dating several woman, including model Stella Maxwell.

And they’re at the place where they can be friendly exes. In June 2018, the former couple were photographed chatting outside Lily Rose Depp’s birthday party. This reunion came only four months after the pair were *reportedly* spotted having drinks in a Los Angeles bar (pics, or it didn’t happen). And in the same interview with Stern, Stewart called Pattinson the “best guy.”

Honestly, Stewart and Pattinson seem like they have a super mature outlook on their relationship; as two people who shared a young love, grew up and grew apart and ultimately parted ways. That doesn’t mean that what they had wasn’t real or special, it was just one part of their lives.

Which makes our inability to do the same *super* telling

This is why Stern’s recent question, and the public’s continued obsession with their former relationship, is kind of weird. We are so far beyond that relationship, that Stewart’s continued definition in relation to it is tired. But not super surprising. Because if other celeb relationships are anything to go off of, women—their careers, their identity and their happiness—seem to continually be defined in relation to their partners.

Just take a look at Selena Gomez. The singer, who has recently made her resurgence on the music scene, has long been talked about in relation to ex, Justin Bieber; their identity and status as a couple has overshadowed everything she’s done, both personally and professionally. Not to mention clouded how people view everything from her songs to her Instagram posts. In May 2016, Gomez spoke out about the toll of being defined by your exes, telling Marie Claire: “I would try to promote something that I loved, and the entire interview would be about my personal life. I would leave a room feeling defeated.” A few months later, in an August 2016 interview with Vogue Australia, Gomez talked further about the chatter around her love life and its affect on her career, telling the magazine: “You want to do what you love, but all this other stuff overshadows it. So it makes it a little harder for people to take me seriously.”

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And, even more unfair? The fact that we’d probably be hard pressed to find an interview where Bieber or Pattinson are asked the same question. You don’t see Stern asking Pattinson if he wanted to marry Stewart–because his image isn’t defined by their relationship to the same degree hers is. Which is total BS.

Like Gomez, Stewart has done *a lot* in her over 11 years in the public eye to warrant our commentary and appreciation: racking up an impressive IMBD page of hit films, setting every red carpet she walks aflame and not taking shit from anyone when it comes to defining her sexuality. And none of those have anything to do with her relationship to Pattinson.

So seriously, can we let her be?