Justin. Juuuuuustin. Justin! What the hell is happening on your bathroom counter? You took an innocent-enough Instagram selfie to show off your new tummy tats—which we cannot even get into right now—and all we can see is the unholy mess of snacks, supplements, beauty prods and, this one is difficult to write without dry-heaving, a toothbrush lying bristles down in your actual sink. This is unforgivable.
Mr. Bieber, you are a grown human adult man of 23 years old. You have been supporting yourself financially since you were basically a zygote. You no doubt have endless disposable cash and, probably, household staff to help you with chores like cleaning. Why does it look like you’re living in your washroom?
In our outrage, we did some heavy sleuthing (thank you, Instagram, for your blessed zoom function without which much Insta-creeping would not be possible!) and put together a list of the most notable items taking up space on Biebs’s marble countertop.
A box of Chips Ahoy! cookies
Hey, celebrities! Just because you have a flatscreen TV in your bathroom does not mean you need to bring snacks into the loo with you. Please stop this madness.
Elta MD sunscreen
Proud of you, boo. You protect that gorgeous mug with Very Serious SPF, no less.
An overpriced fresh juice
‘K, were you so thirsty that you had to drink a bev whilst in a room designed for relieving oneself when you’ve drank too many liquids? This seems counterintuitive.
An open coconut water
Because one beverage was not enough?
Loving the high-low product mix, TBH.
Old Spice spray deodorant
Because sometimes you want to swipe, sometimes you want to spray—but you never want to stink. I can relate to that.
A mess of spilled supplements
Bwaa, will you please invest in a cloth or a roll of paper towels? They are a godsend, promise.
Please lord tell me that’s to mix the above-mentioned supplements into water and there’s not an open yogurt or pudding hiding in that bathroom of horrors.
And the pièce de résistance: a… Ghirardelli chocolate square?
You know that expression “don’t shit where you eat”? Well, sir, you need to do the opposite.