Screw Brad Pitt! Why We Need to Leave Jennifer Aniston Alone

Why are people hoping she reunites with the dude who left her for his costar???

Jennifer Aniston posing in a black blazer

(Photo: Getty Images)

You know how annoying it is when your out-of-touch aunt persistently asks when you’re going to get married or have kids? Try having the ENTIRE WORLD so personally invested in your private life that it loses its shit when you split from husband number 2 and starts rallying for a reunion with husband number 1.

Welcome to Jennifer Aniston’s effed-up reality.

Aniston, who at 49 is basically considered an infertile spinster by Hollywood’s standards, recently revealed that she and her longtime partner Justin Theroux, 46, have separated. The couple, who started dating in 2011 and tied the knot in 2015, said in a statement that the decision to part ways was “mutual and lovingly made at the end of last year.” That info should be enough for “fans”: Aniston made a decision to end a relationship, like countless other humans do every single day. But apparently her words aren’t enough, and, in response to the news, the internet is now rooting for Aniston to get back together with her *also* recently single ex, Brad Pitt. Le sigh.


“Amazing conspiracy theory or total bullsh*t?” Marie Claire asked in a tweet about the Aniston/Pitt reunion. “Brad Pitt Is Giving Jen Aniston a Shoulder to Cry on Amidst Justin Theroux Split,” wrote InTouch Weekly. “Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are getting back together. I called it first,” said someone on Twitter. Hey world, why don’t you get a hobby and LEAVE JENNIFER TF ALONE!!

In case this very critical piece of pop culture history has slipped your mind, Pitt, 54, is rumoured to have cheated on Aniston with his Mr. & Mrs. Smith costar Angelina Jolie in 2005. I don’t know about you, but the last friggin’ thing I’d want to hear after a breakup is that I should get back together with the dude who ditched me after five years of marriage to start a family with the woman he publicly left me for. That’s seriously shitty advice, IMO.

Aside from the absurdity that Aniston should reunite with Pitt (who split from Jolie in 2016), I really feel for Aniston. She continually has to speak out and defend her lifestyle choices simply because the world cannot—or will not—accept them.

Following her super-publicized divorce from Pitt, Aniston had to fight back against the gossip that she was to blame for Pitt finding a new partner since she “chose her career” over having Pitt’s child. “A man divorcing would never be accused of choosing career over children,” she told Vanity Fair in 2005. “That really pissed me off. I’ve never in my life said I didn’t want to have children.”

The Pitt/child rumours were only the beginning of society’s ruthless obsession with Aniston’s reproductive organs. The Friends star has been subjected to endless pregnancy rumours throughout ALL her relationships, with the press constantly asking, When will she procreate? as if that’s her job—or their business. When it was speculated that she and Theroux were expecting for the umpteenth time (“twins!“), Aniston clapped back in a powerful op-ed for The Huffington Post. “For the record, I am not pregnant,” she wrote in the 2016 essay. “What I am is fed up. I’m fed up with the sport-like scrutiny and body shaming that occurs daily under the guise of ‘journalism,’ the ‘First Amendment,’ and ‘celebrity news.'”

In an interview with Marie Claire the same year, Aniston yet again spoke out against the public’s obsession with her private life. “My marital status has been shamed; my divorce status was shamed; my lack of a mate had been shamed; my nipples have been shamed,” she said. “It’s like, Why are we only looking at women through this particular lens of picking us apart?…I have worked too hard in this life and this career to be whittled down to a sad, childless human.”

During a time where Aniston rightfully deserves space, it’s maddening to see people trying to get her and Pitt back together. If she one day chooses to get back with her washed-up former husband, that’s her decision—not ours. If she wants to be single, let her. I’d rather see people fawn over her comments about feminism and follow her humanitarian efforts than lose their shit over her love life.

Instead of planning Aniston’s future wedding, let’s actually listen to Aniston’s own words and take her sentiments seriously: “We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples.”

Now that’s an idea we can get behind.


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