ICYMI, there’s a lot going on in the world right now. Not only are we in the middle of a no-end-in-sight pandemic, but are currently into day two of calculating votes in the United States 2020 Presidential Election. So that feeling of tightness you have in your chest? It’s definitely stress and it’s 100% justified. Also, that lump in your throat is highly effective, because it’ll probably stop you from screaming at Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2020 gift guide. Yes, amidst all this bonkers chaos, Goop has released its holiday gift guide—and it’s a trip.
Read this next: 30 Holiday Gifts That You Can Feel Good About Buying
By now, many people know that the actor’s lifestyle brand is often synonymous with wealth, opulence and a large dash of being out of touch with us regular folks, with the website touting $1,000 cashmere as well as candles that purportedly smell like Paltrow’s vagina for purchase. (Yes, we’re serious.) And the gift guide is no different. Because while, yes, there are some seriously cool and thoughtful gift suggestions to be found in it—like donating to the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Centre and putting money towards planting trees—Paltrow and her friends at Goop also make some straight-up bonkers recommendations for the 2020 holiday season.
It’s important to note that, of course, this is all subjective: One person’s trash is another person’s vagina candle; meaning these items may be perplexing to some while seeming like straight-up amazing gifts to others; and, to their credit, Paltrow & co. *do* acknowledge just how ridiculous some of these items are. But, also, you just know Gwyn’s friends like Kate Hudson are getting that nearly $40k Avocado x Goop bed.
Read this next: 24 Self-Care Gift Ideas for Everyone on Your List
From a $4,000 designer skateboard that only Stormi Webster could rock to a lamp that’s a literal loaf of bread, here are the 10 most ridiculous items in Goop’s 2020 holiday gift guide. (And, yes, we want them all.)
Shop the Goop Gift Guide's Wackiest Items
The Hermès Longboard
Savana Dance Longboard, $4,425 USD, hermes.com
Yes, skateboards and longboards are typically not the most inexpensive of gifts to begin with, but this longboard takes the cake, rolling in at $4,425 USD, which is approximately five and a half months of my rent. My only question, besides how dare they, is: Do you actually *use* this longboard? At that price I would hang it up like a very, very expensive piece of art, never deigning to let its wheels touch the ground. EVER.
Expect to see this popping up on Kylie Jenner's Instagram stories come December 25. This has Stormi's name—and aesthetic—all over it.