6. Jana Webb
The only single Housewife explains that she doesn’t have a man in her life right now, but she has a “roster of friends” to “fulfill certain needs.” Here’s hoping we get to meet some of these studs in future episodes because for now, Jana wins the “which one is she again?” award.
5. Joan Kelley Walker
Notice how she kind of laughed while telling the camera that her husband, “makes a lot of money”? That’s because her hubby is Magna CEO Don Walker and by “a lot” she means $23.4 million—last year alone. So yeah, if money is power (and in the RH universe, we’re pretty sure it is), Joan’s doing pretty well for herself. A so-so premiere performance could simply means she’s waiting to make an entrance.
4. Grego Minot
Producers are obviously setting up the Montreal import to be the wild-child party girl who leaves shattered champagne flutes (and pissed off WASPs) in her wake—and we can’t wait. For now though, let’s talk about her behaviour at the procedure party—where Ann Kaplan-Mulholland’s husband, plastic surgeon Stephen Mulholland, demo’ed his 20-minute facelift. This scene was rich with mean-girl subtext. As Dr. M demonstrates his needle and thread skills, Grego’s over-the-top reactions are hard to miss. She deems the whole thing “de-go-lasse” That’s French for “disgusting” and it’s Housewife for, “I don’t know about you bitches, but my beauty’s all natural.”
3. Roxy Earle
Her ‘love me or leave me’ persona is charming, but don’t let the zero-effs attitude fool you, girlfriend knows what she’s doing. It also deflected from what was some pretty subtle social maneuvering. We’re talking about how she brings Kara Alloway to the procedure party, but then kind of steps away from her when she senses the other women aren’t so keen on her wing woman. Put another way, she manages to steer clear of her pal’s social stank without looking disloyal or duplicitous.
2. Kara Alloway
For a moment, forget the fact that the pilot made her look the high-school nerd who never got to sit with the cool girls, and pay attention to the series promo shot (the one that that comes on screen before every commercial). That’s right—centre positioning; she’s the Beyoncé to everyone else’s Destiny’s Child. Make no mistake, such decisions are anything by random and in a reality climate where the villain rules supreme, Kara’s early status as reviled outsider points to future prominence. Sidenote: Does anyone else feel like she actually willed that broken glass to bounce off the floor and puncture her skin?
1. Ann Kaplan-Mulholland
In her intro segment she asks, “Why be a gold digger when you can own the mine?,” which is both a delightfully feminist motto, and a prudent way of making a key point—unlike some of her fellow Housewives, she is a self-made success story (she founded a medical financing company in the ’90s and is now extremely wealthy in her own right). Out of the gate, AKH establishes herself as the leader/den mother of the squad by hosting the first forced social gathering of the season. There’s definitely a deferential “kiss the ring” vibe to the way the other Housewives approach her. Additional power points for being the only cast member to make a legit funny joke. (It has to do with how she will not be breastfeeding another woman’s baby, but it doesn’t really translate, so just trust us.)
Watch the Real Housewives of Toronto on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. ET on Slice. Then hit up FLARE.com every Wednesday for our weekly power rankings!