Fourteen hours of Paradise have come and gone. Fourteen hours I’ll never get back. Fourteen hours that made me rethink the actual definition of “paradise,” made me nearly cry out at the television in agony, and made me question exactly how much televised junk food is too much.
This week we started with six couples and ended with two. (Honestly, that’s one more than I was expecting to end up with.) I have to give props to the couples who knew there was nothing potentially long-lasting there and hit the road. Some breakups were harder to watch than others, but I found myself nodding in agreement over all of them.
My last three awards are…
The Taking it Like a Champ Award AshLee, for weathering Graham’s breakup remarkably well. I didn’t know what to expect from her after such volatile behaviour all season. She was surprised but poised, hurt but not aggressive. I half expected her to turn on him in an I’ll-hurt-you-before-you-hurt-me sort of way, but she simply told him she still wanted him. When he made it clear those feelings weren’t reciprocated, she peaced out quietly.
The Slow Motion Editing Award The producers, the storyboard editors—whomever haphazardly created this show! This finale was the most drawn-out two hours I can remember since The Master, sans the Academy Award-calibre performances.
The Opportunism Award Marcus, for discerning that if he proposed while still on television—as opposed to after experiencing a minute in real life with Lacy—he’d get an enormous Neil Lane engagement ring without having to pay for it. No judgment; that’s impressively shrewd thinking. Joking aside, I caught myself smiling watching these two together. Congratulations to the happy couple!
Catch up on Sharleen’s Bachelor in Paradise recaps for FLARE:
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 1
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 2
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 4
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 5
Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 6