Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3

Sharleen Joynt—fellow Canuck, FLARE columnist and former Bachelor contestant—shares her take on last night’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise

Sharleen Joynt Bachelor in Paradise recap

Amanda and Josh are diving right in (Photo: courtesy ABC)

In case three hours a week of Bachelor in Paradise isn’t enough, After Paradise really knows how to overdose. On one hand I do appreciate an aftershow’s ability to have people return, speak their piece, and possibly do a little image damage control. But having so many contestants appear in what seemed to be like a reverse clown car took away from each person’s quality time. But I digress. There are more important topics on which to spend my mental energy. SUCH AS…

Since yesterday’s recap I’ve had people comment, tweet, and even email me about my having not mentioned the Nick-Josh-Amanda love triangle. It struck me how people are so curious about this particular storyline considering “love” triangles occur on this show all the time. In fact, the very structure—where folks come at later intervals to “stir the pot” and tempt those already attached (this show is SOOO Temptation Island, circa 2001!)—is designed to create love, um… shapes (including but not limited to triangles). I understand viewers’ curiosity due to the history between Josh and Nick from Andi’s season (more on that in a bit), but neither Josh nor Nick seem to be dwelling on that. Sure, Josh makes an indelicately timed comment now and then about how great he and Amanda are, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary for this show. And Nick is a true water-under-the-bridge person, in life and on TV; he doesn’t want to hold grudges and just wants to move on. Yes, I agree that a short, courteous conversation with him might have been more sensitive on Amanda’s part, but this is Bachelor in Paradise! People hang out with crabs, go on dates with multiple people, don’t have conversations, and proceed to make out with whomever they want, whenever they want, ALL THE TIME. I guess my point is, hate the game, not the players. Amanda has done no worse than many contestants on this show, and Nick has taken it way better than most. There’s no story here.

Then I have to remind myself that the plot thickens. I am very close with Andi Dorfman, whom you all know is the last lady Nick and Josh co-dated on television. Andi recently wrote a tell-all book where she describes Josh in not the most flattering of lights. I’m also friends with Nick, who gets along great with boy Andy (yes, I regularly have to differentiate between girl Andi and boy Andy) and who, for the record, is an awesome third wheel for East Village ramen and dancing the night away. Seeing as how I don’t know Josh past having met him twice briefly, I can’t and won’t comment on him beyond that. And while I’ve never met Amanda in person, she’s only ever been a complete sweetheart to me via DM, and you’ll notice no one, man or woman, has one negative thing to say about her (which is huge—YUGE!).

Regarding Andi’s book, in the same way all the ladies on After Paradise were Team Jomanda (can I do that?) to the extent that they were #TeamAmanda, I too am a girl’s girl who will respectfully state that I am #TeamAndi. Plus, the fact that Nick himself said the things written about him, both flattering and not, “aren’t fictional; there is at least some accuracy to them, so it’s hard to imagine that’s not the case for Josh.” Regardless, I’m a firm believer that being with the wrong person will bring out the worst in you. (In my own experience, for example, one ex and I had phenomenal chemistry but clashed so hard that we fought every day to the point where I never before so seriously contemplated throwing a plate at someone’s face. Meanwhile, with Andy it’s unicorns and rainbows 99.9 percent of the time.) My thoughts on Josh-Amanda-Nick-Andi-gate may be frustratingly PC, but they’re honest. As juicy as it would be to say one person in particular is the devil incarnate, the only thing worthy of condemning is compatibility and the lack thereof. Odds are, everyone is great in their own way.

For more from Sharleen Joynt, visit her blog, alltheprettypandas.com.

Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays on City.