Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor Canada: Episode 5

The smart, sexy former Bachelor contestant from Ottawa shares her thoughts on last night’s episode

Tim and April on their date in Toronto

Tim and April on their date in Toronto

This week of Bachelor Canada felt very predictable to me, and I can’t tell if the editors are purposely trying to throw me off the scent or if it really is that honest. Let me explain: I—or should I say, we (come on, you have to agree with me on this)—have been certain April would be the last girl standing since Week 2. Now, Week 5 should throw me off, with edits that make another girl seem like a potential frontrunner. But instead, Tim takes April on a one-on-one in Toronto, the city in which he currently resides, to show her a slice of his real life. It’s easily the most personal and intimate date so far. He explains to her why he left working in finance, she reveals why she might have trust issues, and these two take a giant leap forward from the head start they already had. I realize that if Tim doesn’t pick April, my foot will be firmly in my mouth, but seriously, can we just wrap up the season now? It’s April. He picks April.

For the group date, Tim took Sachelle, Trisha, Kaylynn, and Lisa for a private, nighttime Wonderland excursion which was very cool. They raced on the Speedway and I have to admit, it was hard not to cheer for Kaylynn when she rear-ended and subsequently beat an overconfident Lisa.

Bachelor Canada episode 5Let’s get to that kiss. Talk about blown out of proportion. Where did the cool Lisa from the early episodes go? The chill, go-with-the-flow girl who doesn’t take herself—or the show—too seriously? She showed her scary second face last week, and this week had a bone to pick over Kaylynn and Tim kissing within her range of vision. Um, it’s The Bachelor, Lisa. Welcome to the alternate reality where you’re strategically seated in an empty diner at the one table where you can see Tim and another girl share private time. Also, I have a hard time believing that, if she were in Kaylynn’s shoes, she’d have given Tim her cheek and said, “Oh, I couldn’t! The girls can see!” Please.

Furthermore, why is it all on Kaylynn? If you feel “disrespected,” isn’t Tim to blame for at least half of that? Call me crazy, but he seems just as much—if not more—to blame than Kaylynn for the girls’ hurt feelings. I get the competitive mentality, but it’s a misguided use of energy on this show. I firmly believe the Bachelor will pick who the Bachelor wants.  No gimmick, meltdown, or extra one-on-one time will change that outcome. If he wants to spend the extra time with you, he will make it happen. If he doesn’t, you fall through the cracks, à la Dominique. Wasting time getting competitive just makes no sense because it’s not a competition. And why would you want the guy who focused on other girls and let you fall through the cracks?

Speaking of which, Dominique sashayed away with her head held high, dignity intact. Props to her. She realized he wasn’t giving her the time, had kept her wits about her, and called it quits. A very smart move done with grace. Brava.

The same cannot be said for Natalie, sadly. Sigh. I said last week I hoped I was wrong and that the returning girl wasn’t Natalie. Not only was it her, but it was some strange, raven-haired, crazier-eyed version of her. She came back with a renewed confidence, which is good I guess, except it was totally misdirected. She shouldn’t have waited until the rose ceremony; the look of shocked horror on Tim’s face when he saw her at his door should have been all the confirmation she needed. (No, I take that back. Tim’s eager “if you think that’s best” when she threatened to leave last week should have been it.) I strongly suspect Natalie will learn a lot from watching herself on television.

It’s only Week 5 and somehow we’re already down to five. (Remember: in US Bachelor world, Week 5 leaves us with eight.) My top 4, in order:

1. April, 27: See first paragraph.

2. Kaylynn, 26: Tim sees something in Kaylynn and genuinely seems to have a good time with her. I have to admit, when Kaylynn loosens up, she’s fun. Her victorious “F–k yeah” when beating Lisa in the Speedyway race had me in stitches. Tim certainly enjoyed it, too.

3. Lisa, 25: It’s hard to remember after two weeks of mean girl antics, but I recall feeling very convinced by her laid-back, snarky rapport with Tim.

4. Trisha, 28: While I think Tim has nurturing feelings for Sachelle, I think he has romantic feelings for Trisha. I’m basing this on the scientific evidence of an ocean makeout sesh. I get more brother/sister from Tim and Sachelle, and boyfriend/girlfriend from him and Trisha. Nothing too crazy, though. He picks April, remember?

Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor Canada: Episode 1
Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor Canada: Episode 2
Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor Canada: Episode 3
Sharleen Joynt on Bachelor Canada: Episode 4

For a fashion roundup of this episode, visit Sharleen’s blog, All the Pretty Pandas

Missed this episode of Bachelor Canada? Watch it here. Otherwise, tune into Episode 5 next Thursday on City, then watch for Sharleen’s blog on FLARE.com.