Entertainment

18 Job Titles You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

Stand-in bridesmaids, professional apologizers, happiness heroes…wait, what?

Not all of us land the jobs we dreamed about growing up (ahem, Princess of the World), and many people end up in a completely opposite profession than what they trained for. We’re guessing that’s the case with some of these quirky career paths that you probably never considered—or heard of. The lesson? Dream big and reach for the stars—even if you miss, you can always be an oyster floater.

Stanley Cup Keeper
Phil Pritchard, one of the current Keepers of the Stanley Cup, spends most of his year touring the world with the epic trophy, ensuring its safety, maintaining the Cup and transporting it to team members and events.

Golf Ball Diver
If you love scuba diving but aren’t quite ready to pack up and move to Bali, this is the job for you: divers are hired by golf courses and golf resale companies to retrieve thousands of lost balls every day from murky waters. Depending on time commitment and the number of balls found, divers can earn anywhere from $30,000 to $100,000 a year. How’s that marketing degree treating you now?

Bridesmaids

(Photo: IMDB)

Stand-in Bridesmaid
If you’re short on friends (or have awful ones that bailed on the most important day of your life) a stand-in bridesmaid will be there to hold your train and catch your bouquet. Usually sought out through Craigslist and other online postings, these vivacious ladies join the bridal party, act as an amazing BFF all night and own it on the dance floor.

Odour Judge
These folks evaluate all sorts of before and after smells for everything from deodorant to mouthwash to provide feedback for cosmetics and hygiene companies.

Chick Sexer
No, this individual is not responsible for getting down with the ladies. These farmhands sort newborn chickens and determine their sex.

Kindle Book Evangelist
Amazon invented this career for devout believers in digital reading. The employee is responsible for preaching, marketing and selling Kindle as a platform for authors, agents and readers.

Fashion Evangelist
Tumblr hired a person to lurk online and connect major brands with up-and-coming fashion bloggers.

(Photo: Instagram/@JustinBieber)

(Photo: Instagram/@JustinBieber)

Professional Apologizer
Justin Bieber? Not quite. Allegedly hired out by agencies in Japan, these professionals deliver apologies on behalf of people who can’t seem to do it themselves. Sorry, what?

Oyster Floater 
Yup, someone actually gets paid to float oysters in water until they are free of impurities and ready to be slurped up.

Happiness Heroes
The glorified title given to Buffer employees who manage the start-up’s PR and social media presence, injecting happiness into their feeds with every post.

Dog Food Tester
No explanation needed…

Cat Behaviour Consultant
Fondly referred to as “cat whisperers”, these experts have the scoop on your feline’s every purr and tail flick. (Yes, they’re plotting against you.)

Pornography Historian
These adult film buffs contribute to archives, documentaries, books and studies (see: the Journal of Sex Research and The Kinsey Institute.) To what end? Who knows, but we’re sure it’s a happy one…

(Photo: Bangkokadventures.com)

Caturday Cat Cafe (Photo: Bangkokadventures.com)

Cat Café Owner
Already huge in Asia, cat cafés are making their way to Canada, bringing with them new careers such as managers and baristas that get to serve up lattes, play with kittens and facilitate pure joy.

Animal Colourist
These lucky people get to spend their days dying animals who star in movies and ad campaigns. We’ll dub them the celeb hair colourists of the animal kingdom.

Fortune Cookie Writer
Wouldn’t you love to pay your rent by writing the nonsensical one-liners that accompany Chinese food?

Egg Inspector
Seeking: people with soft, steady hands and patience for tedious work. Egg inspectors examine hundreds of eggs for cracks and irregularities before they are shipped out for selling.

Line-Standers
You can pay someone to stand in line and hold your place for you… THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. (See: new iPhone releases and H&M collabos.) And it can be surprisingly lucrative: one line-stander reported to Business Insider that he earns up to $1,000 a week.

Related:
These Three Jobs Didn’t Even Exist Five Years Ago
4 Tips for Avoiding Post-Grad Job Panic
How Do I Keep My Job and My Brash Social Media Persona?

 

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