27 Thoughts I Had While Watching Gilmore Girls for the First Time

Seven seasons, three terrible boyfriends, two failed marriages, one unbreakable mother-daughter bond, zero nostalgia. What it feels like to watch Rory and Lorelai for the first time—as an old-ass adult

The buzzy, Netflix-led return of Rory and Lorelai was, as it turns out, the push I needed to give Gilmore Girls a shot after avoiding the show, and nearly all teen-focused WB programming of its ilk, during its original 2000—2007 run. Watching all seven seasons for the first time—as an adult—there were times when I was ready to give up, where the cartoonish townspeople of Stars Hollow proved too much, the forced and unfunny storylines too silly or Kirk’s general presence insanely grating but I’m no quitter. Herewith, the many, many thoughts I had while experiencing the likes of Jess, Paris Geller and Emily and Richard Gilmore with fresh eyes.

gilmore girls stars hollow

The (Stars Hollow) gang’s all here (Photo: ©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection)

•Rory and Lorelai don’t talk as fast as advertised. Maybe I’ve been dulled by Sorkin’s walk-and-talks but the speed isn’t an issue. They do talk A LOT, though.

•I really hope they give Melissa McCarthy’s character other things to do than fall, trip and hurt herself in stupid ways.

•This Michel guy is the ultimate snooty French stereotype. I’m surprised they (sorry, zey) didn’t give him a mustache to twirl.

Dean’s hair is so ’90s. That middle part reminds me of every boy in high school.

•Huh. So Rory is short for Lorelai? How very Carolina Herrera.

•Emily and Richard are easily the most interesting characters.

•Emily and Richard are easily the worst people.

•Of course Chad Michael Murray and Adam Brody are in this!

•I love Lane and her endless band name-dropping.

•This has got to be one of the worst theme songs ever. Sorry, Carole King.

•Jess is such a bratty pseudo-intellectual. 17-year-old me would have been ALL OVER HIM.

•What is the point of Kirk?! The entire town is full of court jesters. Maybe he’ll get killed off in a freak accident and be missed by no one.

•Luke and Lorelai are clearly *the* couple. How long do we have to wait for them?

•Paris Geller is terrifying.

•I hate Taylor.

•I love the idea of teenagers making each other jealous by ruining a dance-a-thon.

•Well, that’s not how I thought Rory would lose her virginity. I’m maybe weirdly impressed?

•So, Lorelai and Max. Lorelai and Jason. Lorelai and Christopher. Lorelai and Luke.

•What is Sebastian Bach from Skid Row doing in Lane’s band?

•The camera loves Alexis Bledel’s doll face, but man, is her acting wooden. Lauren Graham should be more famous.

•Lorelai proposing to Luke is so progressive but the amount of gay panic is so regressive. And uncomfortable.

•Ugh, is Rory really falling for Logan’s rich-boy charms? How ordinary.

•Why is Lorelai so fixated on getting someone to put a ring on it? It doesn’t seem true to her character.

•Luke did NOT find out he had a secret daughter…because of a middle school science project?! What is going on in that writers’ room?

•Lane has sex for the first time, after she’s married, hates it and then gets pregnant WITH TWINS? Why is she being punished?

•Rory isn’t going to marry Logan, thank God. They tried to turn his character around but he’s still slippery and entitled and GIVE RORY BETTER OPTIONS.

•Well the series finale really tied up the Luke and Lorelai action with a bow but they *are* good together.

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