Drake already had one of the worst I’ve ever seen. You might know the tattoo—unless you wiped it from your memory Men In Black-style—a hideous flaming skull with the word “Unruly” written below it (*shudder*). And yet, every time Drake puts ink to skin, I manage to hate it more than the last. Herein, the 6 God’s most questionable (and PERMANENT?!) tatts.
1. Celebrated actor Denzel Washington as Bleek Gilliam in the 1990 Spike Lee-directed film Mo’ Better Blues
I’m mostly interested to know how the F Drake chose which Denzel to immortalize on his epidermis. Was pilot Whip Whitaker from Flight on the table? How about Frank Lucas from American Gangster? Or the iconic Coach Herman Boone from Remember the Titans?! How does one PICK? While still a tad confused about why anyone would ever tattoo another person’s face onto their body, I’m giving this 10/10 for likeness. I mean, look at that shading.
2. This incredibly detailed portrait of his Young Money mentor, Lil Wayne
Oh, the meta! While I’m not sure the Wayne’s finger guns will age gracefully—imagine future grandpa Drake showing this off at a family BBQ in 2067?—it’s nice that Drake showed his appreciation for all of the rapper’s mentorship over the years. A fruit basket or a kind song lyric definitely would not have sufficed. No way, José.
3. Ye old hibiscus emoji
My first thought when I saw this was “still trying to make the hibiscus happen, huh?” Drake’s shoved his favourite emoji down our throats in recent weeks as it became his go-to Instagram caption leading up to the much anticipated release of More Life and in the words of Regina George: Stop trying to make hibiscus happen. Also, let’s be honest, if I got my most-used emoji tattooed on my arm, I’d be forever branded with the eye-rolling face, hbu?
4. The hyperrealistic Drakkar Noir bottle (with a special cameo by my arch nemesis, the “Unruly” head)
Well, this one had me conflicted. On the one hand, Drakkar Noir is the ultimate ’80s stinky cologne throwback. It was a budget-friendly scent for everyone from slick dads to tweens showering with it long before Axe became the preferred smell of pubescent boys everywhere (and if you look closely enough, you can still find it on the bargain shelves at your local Wally’s). On the other, it’s a super realistic PERMANENT TATTOO OF A COLOGNE BOTTLE.
5. His insane Sade tribute
Our sweet, sensitive Drake never plays it close to the vest when it comes to his many, many emotions and that’s part of why we love him. Most of his proclamations of love (Shania Twain, Doris Burke and Rihanna come to mind) are charming, pure of heart. But a tat of Sade’s literal face on his ribcage? This is next-level what-the-f*ckery. He also managed to snap not one but two pics of the actual elusive chanteuse for his Instagram, including one of Sade and his beloved mom with the caption “Two very important ladies in my life”—so, like Sade is almost as important as his mom?! What is happening?