In 2013 Drake declared that Nothing Was the Same. And now, after Architectural Digest released their May 2020 issue featuring the Canadian in his serious palatial Toronto home, my eyes will never be the same.
Designed by Canadian architect and interior designer Ferris Rafauli, Drizzy’s home is 50,000 square feet, features a NBA-sized basketball court, literally cathedral-esque ceilings and is built with, per the magazine, “noble materials.” *eye roll*
The cover of the magazine, released on April 8, features a photo of Drizzy in his marble- and wood-clad living/piano room, decked out in a monochromatic ‘fit and looking like a tiny bearded Lego man. I swear to God there is enough space above his head in the image to fit about four Pascale Siakams. It’s a lot of head room.
And honestly, as much as I, someone who is self-isolating in a Polly Pocket-sized apartment with two roommates, should feel annoyed, this is really just tugging at my heart strings; because Drake’s home honestly feels like a glaring physical representation of his ertswhile “Sad Boy Aesthetic.” SBA (copyright pending), is a persona the rapper has built his career on, from rapping about the best girl who got away in 2012 to longingly (and publicly) lusting after Rihanna for over a decade, Drake has made his millions off of being the emotional guy who can’t catch a break in love.
And whether or not he intended it to, the 6ix God’s house is making me feel the same way hit tracks like “Weston Road Flows” do: straight up sad. Here’s why.
First of all, it’s tacky AF
I’m sorry to everyone who styles themselves like an extra in The Queen of Versailles, but this house is…a lot. And by that I mean it’s tacky AF. While some celebs like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have gone overboard (or is it under-board?) when it comes to minimalism, in Drake’s case more is definitely too much.
It’s not surprising that you’d need a lot of *stuff* to fill 50,000 square feet, but this house looks like 10 industrial home design stores threw up in it. And there are so many knickknacks?!
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Drake showed off his house for Architectural Digest & I’m honestly speechless…this is the most incredibly designed house I’ve ever seen. pic.twitter.com/2rncFshZNn
— alex (@AlexUlrichh) April 8, 2020
Drake has designed it like he wants to have sex in every room…but you know he won’t. There is too much ambient lighting going on in this home, and it’s honestly making me so uncomfortable. Like, do the lights change in his recording studio based on mood? Is there a natural light option? Isn’t it disorienting to constantly feel like you’re in a 24-hour Berlin nightclub high on psychedelic drugs? So many questions to be answered.
— Word On Road (@WordOnRd) April 8, 2020
Not to mention the most important question of all: How much did this all cost? Because that may be the saddest part of the entire design, that someone paid to have this done to their home.
Not to mention, it makes me feel kind of bad for Drake?
OK, hear me out. As difficult as it might be to feel bad for a millionaire with a private plane designed by Virgil Abloh and perhaps the cutest child out there, I can’t help feeling sad when looking at this house. Because there’s just so much space!!! And, well, no people.
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All I can imagine when I look at this home, with its palatial arches and obviously echo-y rooms, is Drake wandering around all by himself; quarantined away from his family and with all his OVO crew sequestered away at their own homes.
Take, for example, this room that literally looks like a full-on nightclub.
Drake does not have enough authentic friends to fill this space! And, honestly, the idea of Drake on the mic trying super hard (as is his aesthetic) to eagerly please a bunch of fake friends in it for the Instagram photos and free booze is honestly heart wrenching.
As FLARE managing editor Jennifer Berry so aptly put it: “He probably has after parties there that start fun and end with him crying on a girl’s lap.” Which is honestly the clearest mental image I have ever seen in my life.
What can I say, cringe-y stuff makes me sad. But also, maybe this is intentional? Is Drake playing us with this ginormous home and AD photo shoot? Is this TBT to his SBA meant to distract us from his corniness (and problematic behaviour) of late?
Also, we’re just kind of over ogling celebs’ extreme wealth right now
While it probably wasn’t Drizzy’s call when the magazine was going to drop (and obviously no one, not even the great Drake, could have foreseen a global pandemic), it’s hard not to feel like the timing of Architectural Digest‘s May issue couldn’t have come at a worse time. The release of this month’s opulence-celebrating issue, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic feels super icky, especially when other magazines, like Italian Vogue, are choosing to forego regular covers. The last thing us mere common people want to do—when we’re stressed about potential job layoffs, sick relatives and the stability of our mental health—is have supreme, over-the-top wealth rubbed in our faces. Because in the now iconic words of Kourtney Kardashian on a family trip to Bora Bora: “Kim, there’s people that are dying.”
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You just *know* that Drake can get tested for COVID-19 whenever and wherever he wants to—look at those chandeliers! And it’s kind of infuriating, if only because it’s another example in the increasingly long list of celebrities and media not being able to read the frickin’ room RN. (We’re looking at you, Ellen DeGeneres and Gal Gadot.)
So, we’re happy for your success, Drizzy; but also, your home has us straight-up in our feelings.