We don’t know what’s more tragic about this story: The fact that Tiffany Haddish and Drake will never be the power couple 2018 so desperately needs, or that Tiffany Haddish and Drake will never be the power couple 2018 so desperately needs because he. stood. her. up. Oh, and he cost her a cool 100K in lost earnings in the process.
As you’ll recall, Haddish—Girls Trip star, newly-minted member of The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, future president—appeared in the music video for our Aubrey’s recent single, “Nice For What.” He was clearly impressed by her performance, and invited her out to dinner. They even set a date and time and everything, which, frankly, is a miracle in this modern dating world of ours.
But then, as Haddish told Jada Pinkett Smith, Drake dropped the ball in a major, major way. Speaking on Pinkett Smith’s FB talkshow, Red Table Talk, Haddish said he cancelled due to a “family emergency” in Canada. “Oh man, my bad,” Drake said, when she called to finalize the night’s itinerary. (That is a direct quote.) Your bad, Drake? More like your loss… emotionally, spiritually and yes, financially.
As Haddish told Pinkett Smith: “I block all this time off, like, I’m gonna get my moustache waxed, get my armpits waxed, got me a nice little dress.” And this is where a little economic principle called opportunity cost comes in: “I could have made $100,000 today, but I was trying to see what that D do. But alright!” (FYI, if you’re wondering what the hourly rate on world domination is these days? Assuming an eight-hour day, which frankly is way more effort than a flake like Drake deserves, that’s roughly $12,500 USD per hour.)
And while Haddish is way too on-her-own-level to be going after Drake for these lost earnings, we’re not. Allow us to publicly challenge you, Aubrey Drake Graham, to taking Tiffany Haddish somewhere really, really nice… like $12,500 an hour nice. At the least, you owe her a very elaborate fruit basket.
To see Haddish tell the story herself, watch the show in full below (or jump in around the 13:17 mark to get right to the hilar anecdote).