Besides the now widely accepted rumour that Rihanna is the best smelling person ever, one fact remains unchallenged in the world of celebrity: Chrissy Teigen is the Queen of Twitter. The model and cookbook author—who’s married to singer John Legend and is mom to cuties Luna and Miles—is great at a lot of things: whipping up some seriously delish-looking meals, rocking a thigh-high slit dress and generally being the kick-ass mom we all aspire to be one day; but arguably her greatest contribution to this planet is her social media posts. They’re always hilarious, unapologetic and say exactly what we’re *all* thinking. This is, after all, the woman who has called out (and been blocked by) world leaders, tweeted about “boning” People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” and who @commenysbycelebs dedicates their Sunday evening round-up to. But Teigen could—and definitely wants to—say more. FLARE sat down with Teigen while she was in New York City to promote Pamper’s #ShareTheLove campaign (the mama is a partner and creative consultant for the brand) to find out what exactly she’d say.
She’s actually holding herself back online
As much as we might consider the model and entrepreneur to be the reigning queen of the interwebs, surprisingly, Teigen herself does not. In fact, she kind of scoffs at the suggestion. “I’m on it a lot, certainly,” she says of her Twitter presence, “but there’s definitely people that do it really well and more consistently than me.” Regardless, the Lip Sync Battle commentator has become synonymous with the best of Twitter; using her platform to hilariously engage with followers, support causes and call out political injustices, clap back at trolls (and mom shamers) and even poke some good natured fun at her own husband (for looking like animated character Arthur the Ardvark). But while it may seem like Teigen has only geared up—making a conscious decision to use her voice to speak out on issues like the upcoming presidential election, she says it’s actually the opposite. “I think there was more so a moment where I decided to pull back and stop being that person,” she says. “I think speaking out was always my number-one jam on [Twitter], and it was natural and awesome; and then I realized quickly that for my own mental health I couldn’t be the person that I wanted to be on there.”
“There’s still plenty of things I believe and I want to say that I feel like I can’t,” she says. This reality is made more difficult by the fact that Teigen says she follows a lot of people online who can voice their opinions without any repercussions. “And that makes me a little bit bitter and a little bit resentful,” she says. “I know that if I said the same thing I would either lose jobs or I would just get attacked left and right. It’s hard seeing people be able to live their best life on Twitter and then me not being able to do it. It’s frustrating.”
Equally frustrating? The fact that any and pretty much all hate stems from a pretty stupid (and entirely out of her hands) reason: “It’s definitely because I’m a girl,” she says of the online backlash. “I think it’s being a woman, it’s being a liberal snowflake—there’s a lot that goes into it.”
And she also knows that other women get the same kind of shit—or even worse. “You look at women that write anything in the sports world [and they get the same treatment]. I always tell some of my friends, ‘you guys get it worse than anybody’; girls that talk about sports on Twitter, it’s like the perfect storm of hatred.”
She’s learned how to take care of mental health online
Dealing with the trolls on a daily basis can be a lot of handle, something Teigen has learned to acknowledge and account for when gauging how much time she should spend online. While the model says she “definitely” experiences social media fatigue, she’s figured out how best to take care of her own mental health in the face of it all. “I just take a few days off,” she says. It’s a seemingly easy fix, but is something she’s learned to do as she’s gotten older and spent more time online. “You just grow up and you learn [to realize and identify], ‘OK, I’m having a bad time. Things are getting to me more than they would normally get to me on any other given day,’” she says. “Sometimes I wake up first thing in the morning and read something and it hurts me really, really bad and I realize that if I read this 10 hours from now, I wouldn’t feel the same way,” she continues. “So you just start to personally adjust and it’s a thing you can do yourself.”
While Teigen says it’s important to take breaks, sometimes that can be easier said than done, especially because she always wants to know what’s being said about her (which is honestly, relatable AF). “It’s just like, is everyone mad at you? I don’t know if it’s good for you in any way. Trust me, it’s probably terrible and any therapist would tell you it’s terrible,” she says of checking up on herself online, “but for me, I’d rather know if people are mad at me or not.”
FYI, she wants her clap backs to be educational—not mean
And, in line with figuring out what works for her when it comes to how much time to spend on social media, Teigen has also figured out which kind of clap back works for her. As the Queen of Twitter (and as a woman and mom in the public eye), she’s constantly inundated with people offering unsolicited commentary about her parenting style and how she dresses and her body. Like everything else she does online, Teigen has figured out how to respond to these often super stupid queries with wit and a ton of hilarity—which is intentional. “Whenever I [clap back] now, I try to do it in a comedic sense,” she clarifies. “I don’t ever want it to seem like I’m actually clapping back at someone to hurt their feelings or to make them feel less than.” Instead, Teigen says it’s important—and she tries—to draw attention to the fact that women are constantly scrutinized for any decision they make. Take, for example, her December 2019 response to an Instagram user who, seeing a photo of Teigen playing with her daughter in a super cute, sexy blazer, told her to cover up, commenting: “Jesus cover up your daughter is right there.”
“She sucked it for months and doesn’t mind it much,” Teigen iconically responded about her breasts.
“So when I do say something to somebody, it’s because I want that attention drawn in that regard, but it’s never to actually hurt the person or intentionally make them feel like they’re not smart or they said something unkind and I want my followers to pounce on them,” Teigen says. And, in a way, she says, it’s good for people to see that every woman experiences mom shaming—yes, even Chrissy Teigen. It’s a universal thing. “We all get it, whether it’s my best friend Melissa who’s getting it on Facebook or it’s me on Twitter—everyone experiences it.”
And she thinks Twitter is actually a pretty great place to be
With all that being said, it’s not *super* likely that Teigen will log off the blue bird site anytime soon. Because, surprisingly, she may be one of a very few people who actually log on and like it—and not in a self-hating, put yourself through hell kind of way. “I really do think there are more pros, which is why I’m still on [Twitter],” she says. “There are friends that I’ve met and kept for 11 years; people that I’ve introduced to one another [online] that have gotten married. There are people who know the ins and outs of my personality. There are people that understand my family. There are people that are genuine friends to me. It’s more than just social media.”
Read this next: You’re Probably Going to Hate TATBILB’s Jordan Fisher
Teigen has potentially achieved what we all aspire to when logging onto the hellfire that is Twitter–she’s created a kind of community. “It’s a place where I can go to feel calm and at home and at peace and return back to the people that know me best—which is them, honestly.”
So, does that make us—as one of Teigen’s 12.4 million followers—one of her BFFs? If so, we’ll gladly take it.