Thank God for Céline Dion

Canada’s internet mom knows it is *not* “God’s Plan” for Drake to get another bad tattoo

Katherine Singh
Drake and Céline Dion pose at the Billboard Music Awards
(Photo: Getty Images)

For Céline Dion, the power of Drake’s love is just a *little* too strong. The reigning queen of the ballad sat down for an interview with iHeartRadio Canada on September 18, and in between answering rapid-fire questions about her impressive shoe collection (she seriously owns over 10,000 pairs), Dion took the opportunity to attempt to prevent a national tragedy: Drake tattooing her face on his body.

According to Rolling Stone, the former Degrassi star allegedly told Dion that he was planning to draw her like one of his French girls have her face tattooed on his body when the pair met at the Billboard Music Awards in 2017. Two years later, when asked which celeb she’d have tattooed on her body, Dion instead let us all know how she felt about Drake’s idea.

She was straight-up like: non. 

“Please, Drake, I love you very much,” the singer said. “Can I tell you something? Don’t do that.”

And this is coming from a woman who epitomizes camp, a woman who pounds on her chest mid-song like Tarzan (we stan), treats fashion week like her own couture show and is someone who, I can only assume, enters every room like this:

So the fact that she would deter Drake from having her face emblazoned on his body forever is really saying something. But, thank God. Because Drake’s tattoos must be stopped.

Listen, by now we all know that—like Prime Minister Trudeau claims to be with racial “costumes”—Drake is just a little overeager when it comes to…just about everything. From his Raptors courtside antics to his effusive love for former GF Rihanna, Drizzy has literally no chill. None at all. His overeager energy is melting the polar ice caps as we speak. It’s one of the things we Canadians love about him; but it’s also one of the qualities that, on the world stage, give us zero street credit.

And nowhere is Drizzy more eager than he is with his tattoos. The man absolutely loves a random tattoo. Even more than that, the man absolutely loves random tattoos of other celebrities. And while some of us may just continually profess our love for someone and muse offhandedly about having their faces forever inked onto our bodies (hey, I’m still talking about a potential Frida Kahlo tattoo, unibrow and all—sorry, Mom!), the issue is that Drake actually goes through with it.

And, you guys, his tattoos are bad. Like very bad. They’re pretty much a national emergency.

The “Nice for What” singer has everything from a jack-o’-lantern to a compass strewn about his body with no rhyme or reason. The most recent addition? A *very* large tattoo of himself standing in front of the Beatles; it’s an addition that came almost a year after he set a new record for the highest number of Billboard Hot 100 Top 10 songs in a single calendar year, surpassing the Beatles. There’s nothing like a self-congratulatory tat, TBH.

In addition to tats of Sade, Lil Wayne and Denzel Washington, Drizzy, never one to go small, also has several tattoos of former flame Rihanna, including one of her eating an ice cream on his right bicep. Drake also has a camouflage shark on his right forearm, which matches one of Rihanna’s tats and is now probably a constant reminder of the demise of their relationship. Which sounds super fun.

Then there was the awkward-as-hell moment during the 2019 NBA Finals when Drake, adorned with *several* tribute tattoos to Golden State Warriors players, had to not-so-slyly cover them up with a sweat band when they faced off against the Raptors.

He’s already had so many cringeworthy moments with his existing tats; the last thing Drake needs is another woman’s face on his body. We get it—the “Finesse” rapper enjoys commemorating his idols. But seriously, Drizzy? Get a Disney autograph book.

Talking directly to the camera, Dion literally *pleaded* with the rapper to not have her face immortalized on his hard, chiselled body: “You can write me love letters. You can send me autographs for my kids. You can come and visit. I can have you home for lunch or dinner. We can go for a drink. We can sing together. Whatever you want to do. I can talk to your mother. Whatever you want, but please.”

The woman is desperate!!

As she should be. Because, as she rightfully points out, Drake’s body won’t always be as hard and chiselled as it is now. And that’s just straight-up #facts. Gravity, age and the strain of that hard-partying tour life will eventually catch up with our Canadian crooner, and that would *not* bode well for Dion’s tattooed likeness.

Dion’s plea also brings up a great Q. Where is Sandra in all of this? Sandra, please come get your son! Or at least buy him a subscription to Inkbox tattoos. If Drake is *really* desperate to immortalize our Quebecois queen, how about a nice lyric tattoo on the ribcage?

We can only hope that, after years of playing Russian roulette when it comes to choosing tattoos, Drizzy will finally listen to the melodic voice of reason and refrain from trying to turn his body into Mount Rushmore. Because we absolutely hate to see it.

Sorry, Drizzy, “That’s (just) the way it is.”

Related:

In Defence of Drake’s Courtside Antics
Céline Dion is *Everywhere* Right Now. Here’s Why
Drake, Please Don’t Make Kawhi Your Next Rihanna

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