To contour or not to contour, that is the question.
Hamlet centered on revenge, familial loyalty and a struggle for the throne, and the Kardashians focus on Instagram likes, keeping TMZ on speed dial and finding new KUWTK plotlines to keep the ladies flush in Balmain and Khloe’s OCD cookie jars.
The usual CW-meets-Shakespeare dramatics have been cranked up to 10 with the announcement of Rob and Blac Chyna’s engagement. Here’s the Coles Notes (in case there’s a quiz tomorrow).
- Frailty, thy name is Rob Kardashian. He is the (until recently) reclusive only son of Kris Kardashian and the late Robert Kardashian.
- Kylie Jenner was raised on reality TV; her first meeting with Tyga was when she, at 14, hired him for Kendall’s Sweet 16.
- Tyga/Blac Chyna meet on the set of his “Rack City” video, have baby King (foreshadowing!) in 2012.
- 2014, Tyga begins to deny accusations of an inappropriate (in literally every way) relationship with Kylie. Blac Chyna and Tyga split, and she and Kim fall out over the little sis connection.
- Tyga and Blac Chyna throw shade on social media, and she and Kylie enter into a selfie Cold War—they are clearly goading one another with no direct acknowledgment of the other’s existence. (In the meantime, a subplot: Blac Chyna becomes besties with Amber Rose, who is not only Kanye’s ex GF, but the only woman who seems capable of shutting down his sometimes-misogynistic rants.)
- And yet… could Rob be pulling a Hamlet, laying in wait and pretending to be a recluse while he’s actually been gathering intel to take the entire royal family of Calabasas down in (X-Pro filtered) flames? Is Keeping Up with the Kardashians actually the play-within-the-play, The Mousetrap? (Kris kind of sounds like Claudius, now that we think about it.)
- Rob begins dating Blac Chyna, which quickly progressed into a ring emoji (yes, he went to Jared’s, or some tacky Rodeo Drive equivalent). Kylie and Tyga are still dating and often rumored to be engaged (Side note: Girl, you are young and rich and building a lip kit empire. Slow your roll.)
- So where does this leave little King? Well if both couples do make it down the aisle, Rob while be his step-dad/step-uncle, and Kylie will be his step-mom/step-aunt.