We start this week’s ep off with the continuation of last week’s Corinne v. Taylor showdown. Taylor continues to be Corinne’s therapist (annoying) and Corinne is playing the “you’re not here for the right reasons” card. Surprise surprise, Corinne is wasted again.
Later, Nick shows up for Rose Ceremony. Oh hey Nick, we actually totally forgot about you in the midst of all this dramz.
Corinne musters up the energy to stay awake for this Rose Ceromony but probs wish she didn’t because the barn is effing freezing.
Corinne obvi gets a rose—Taylor’s piiissssed.
And vice versa.
We were NOT expecting Sarah to go home this early in the game, *tear.* Hopefully we’ll catch her on the dark side (Bachelor In Paradise).
Next stop on The Bachelor World Tour: New Orleans!
Dolphin-girl is right at home rn. We love her more and more with every ep.
The girls get to their hotel and Chris Harrison comes in to announce the dreaded two-on-one will be happening this week. Hmmmm…wonder who it will be?
But first, Rachel finally gets her one-on-one with Nick. They have a v. casual date walking around the city, eating oysters and just being totally obsessed with each other.
Nick says his chemistry with Rachel is the most explosive of all the girls and we immediately upgrade her from final four to final two.
Group date time! They’re spending the day at the most haunted house in Louisiana and Nick is like, “hands up if you’re ready to get messed with by the producers?”
K but in all seriousness this place is creepy AF and so is this Boo guy who won’t stop talking about some eight-year-old ghost who died in the house.
Of course there just happens to be a Ouija board sitting right behind Nick. So the girls ask it if Nick will get engaged and it doesn’t say anything. LOL. That’s not a good sign.
Then they call out to this child-ghost. The Ouija board starts freaking and all the lights in the house go out.
But wait, it gets better. As the lights go out, the eyes in this creepy-ass painting move and a v. fake bolt of lightning hits the house. It feels like we are watching some low-budget horror flick.
Back at the hotel, Corinne and Taylor are getting ready for their two-on-one. Taylor’s breathing in some essential oils and sitting inside a circle of candles. #dateprep
And Corinne has a bubble bath with champagne before indulging a massive steak, some wings, a caesar salad and what looks like Raquel’s famous cheese pasta for dinner. (Girl loves her food, and good on her.)
Back to the haunted group date: freaky shit is happening in the house but Nick’s still trying to find some romantic moments.
And then the scariest thing that could ever happen, happens: Raven says the big ILY to Nick.
Nick grabs the group date rose that looks like it was taken straight out of Beauty and the Beast and gives it to Danielle M. Ouch, sucks to be Raven.
And now for the main event: Corinne and Taylor’s highly anticipated two-on-one.
They’re spending the day in the bayou and Corinne’s like, “I’m way too hot for this date.”
They get readings from a tarot card reader who tells them there’s a lot of tension on this date. Um, duh.
And then Corinne makes her very own Taylor voodoo doll. This episode is weird.
As we suspected Corinne gets the rose and Taylor gets the boot.
So now Taylor’s stuck in this gross swamp-forest and has the weirdest Bachelor exit ever. Like WTF is happening here? Points for not crying though!
JK we spoke to soon, Taylor’s not done yet. She comes back to crash Corinne and Nick’s dinner date. Come on girl, you couldn’t have just left with your dignity?
Serious question: how has literally every episode been a To Be Continued…? We’ve got a bone to pick with you ABC.
Tune into The Bachelor Mondays on Omni at 8:00 EST/PST—and catch up on past episodes at www.omnitv.ca/the-bachelor.