Entertainment

5 New Grammys Categories That Need to Exist

In which we dream up unconventional Grammy categories for our favourite music moments of the year

The past year brought us many musical gems, including the emotional return of Adele with “Hello,” the gift-that-keeps-on-giving that was Taylor Swift’s 1989, and more Bieber charm than we knew what to do with. With the 58th Grammy Awards noms being announced early next week following the All-Star Concert airing on City Sunday night, we imagined five new categories that would do justice to the wonderous year that was 2015.

1. Best use of a mobile device in a music video

Criteria:
Use of a mobile device in a dance sequence, montage or scene in which the device is not merely present, but an integral prop.
Nominees: Adele for “Hello,” Drake for “Hotline Bling” and Taylor Swift for “Blank Space.” (To jog your memory, Tay goes ape on her boy toy and tosses his iPhone in a fountain.)
Winner: We love Adele’s flip-phone #tbt but Drizzy wins for “Hotline Bling” with not one but two rose-gold iPhones.

Drake-Duck-Hotline-Bling-Gif


2. Best unexpected-yet-delightful celebrity cameo in a music video


Criteria:
A surprise appearance by a non-musician celebrity in a music video. Special consideration given to videos wherein there is no previously known relationship between the musician and celebrity.
Nominees: Justin Bieber for “What Do You Mean?” with cameo by actor John Leguizamo, Carly Rae Jepsen for “I Really Like You” with cameo by actor Tom Hanks and “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift with cameos by Ellen Pompeo and Mariska Hargitay, plus her usual #squad.
Winner: Carly Rae Jepsen takes this one. How are you not charmed by Hanks any time ever?

3. Best use of faux blood

Criteria: Use of fake blood in a music video or live performance.
Nominees: Grimes for “Flesh Without Blood/Life In The Vivd Dream,” Rihanna for “B*tch Better Have My Money” and Demi Lovato for the multiple ass-whoppings in “Confident.” (OK, there weren’t more than a couple trickles of the red stuff in Demi’s vid but the beat downs delivered by Michelle Rodriguez deserve at least an honorable mention.)
Winner: This one goes to our Winter cover star Grimes whose “Flesh Without Blood” video is a trippy, arty fantasy and not just a revenge violence shock fest. Sorry Rih!

4. Most unexpected single from the fifty-plus crowd

Criteria: Single and/or music video by or featuring an artist of fifty years or older.
Nominees: A$AP Rocky featuring Rod Stewart for “Everyday,” Madonna for “B*tch I’m Madonna,” and Rihanna featuring Kanye West and Paul McCartney for “Four Five Seconds.”
Winner: Our hearts belong to Rod and A$AP and if you’re not convinced, watch them on carpool karaoke and try not to fall in love. Sorry, Madonna, but your video gave us the sads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHkLlAW1YfE

5. Biggest panty-dropping track of the year 

Criteria: A baby-making tune that causes listeners to get busy, bump and grind and/or knock boots.
Nominees: Miguel for “Coffee,” Selena Gomez featuring A$AP Rocky for “Good For You,” and The Weeknd for “The Hills.”
Winner: This one almost went to our November cover beauty who’s def all grown up, but we’ve got to hand it to The Weeknd whose Beauty Behind The Madness album was no doubt responsible for more than a few fresh buns in the ov this year.

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