Pre-fame Kim K might have built an eBay business as “kimsaprincess” but crowning her v. famous clan “America’s Royal Family” seems like a bit of an exaggeration, no?
Ian Halperin disagrees. The New York Times bestselling author just dropped Kardashian Dynasty: The Controversial Rise of America’s Royal Family (Gallery Books, $35), an investigation that had him going undercover—and watching hundreds of hours of KUWTK, which like, same—to pick apart each member of the Kardashian fam. At times scathing and outlandish, it had us raising our eyebrows more than once. In no particular order, here are our picks for top-five best moments from the book:
The release of Kim and Ray J’s sex tape required permission from the family
Despite everything she’s done since, we still hear people talking about the sex tape that catapulted Kim to fame. Back in 2007—just before Keeping Up premiered—Kim confirmed the rumours that this footage existed, and went on to file a lawsuit against porno producer Vivid Films when it announced it would release the tape. Halperin decided to test the system and approached Vivid undercover with a fake tape to sell. Once a rep told him marketing and selling a sex tape would require the permission of both parties, he felt comfy claiming Vivid and the Kardashians were in cahoots all along.
Caitlyn Jenner timed her transition to distract from her car crash
While Kardashian Dynasty acknowledges Cait’s longtime struggle with gender identity—she told Diane Sawyer she started transitioning in the ’80s, before going off hormones when she met Kris—Halperin also quotes a “longtime friend” of Jenner’s as saying, “I don’t think he would have gone so fast if he hadn’t been in an accident”—an accident that killed one driver and injured others.
Kris Humphries isn’t very good at hot yoga
Okay, this one is eyebrow-raising mostly because who really cares? Halperin got this nugget on Kim’s ex from his friend April, a yoga instructor who says she taught Humphries once.
Kim reshot her “surprise” proposal to look better
Speaking of Kris Humphries, this shatters the illusion of his much-hyped proposal. Halperin turned to former KUWTK executive producer Russell Jay for this one. Jay says that while Kim knew Kris would propose on air, she didn’t know exactly when. When she wasn’t happy with her first reaction to his petal-strewn question pop, she ordered a re-do. With a life as curated as Kim’s, guess we can’t be too surprised.
Bob Kardashian had some p. accurate predictions for his kids
Papa Kardashian’s widow Ellen released journals he allegedly wrote in 1989 and 1990. The book details what Bob thought would become of the four kids, and we must say, they seem preeetttty spot on: “[Bob] claims that Kourtney would end up resenting Kris,” writes Halperin, “Whereas Kim would ‘become her mother’ drawn to successful men who reflect glamor [sic]. Khloé would ‘do whatever she wants, when she wants.’ He was the most worried about Rob, who, he fretted, was ‘very confused.’”
Seem like a check, check, check and check to us.