If blind dates are torturous, setting other people up on blind dates is sadomasochist fun. Just in time for V-Day, we’ve chosen a few single celebrities* we’d like to fix up on a date. We’re confident these would result in a Feb. 14 love connection—or at least more chemistry than Christian and Ana (speaking of sadomasochism).
*Single in Hollywood means not married.
1. Shailene Woodley
Her personal ad might read, “Me: Self-reliant forager seeking naturalist for communal living. A spirit reacher (‘actress’ in layperson terms) with a passion for mushroom picking and brewing a killer cup of nettle tea. You: Must know your way around an urban forest and be able to wear shoes a couple times a month (non-negotiable). Interested? Send a free-range carrier pigeon to my treehouse.”
FLARE suggests: Shia LaBeouf. He does counter-culture quite well.
2. Rita Ora
Our former cover girl’s had a couple of unpleasant breakups, first with Rob Kardashian (who accused her of cheating), then with producer Calvin Harris (who barred her from performing their musical collaboration at an award’s show). As her star continues to rise, she’ll need a man who’s confident enough to be a big celebrity’s plus-one—and appreciate her burgeoning fashion-plate status.
FLARE suggests: Diplo. Because even if the relationship doesn’t last, at least she’ll get some good music out of it. Just be sure to get those publishing rights, girl.
3. Elizabeth Olsen
From indie fare to Godzilla, Olsen’s career is a mix bag of passion and big-ticket projects, so she needs a guy who’s as comfortable at Sundance as he is at Cannes. With a superhero movie in the works (The Avengers: Age of Ultron), this could be the year she catapults from industry darling to household name.
FLARE suggests: The recently single and suddenly fine Dev Patel, who understands the temperature change of sudden fame.
4. Gigi Hadid
Model-of-the-moment Gigi Hadid is on-again, off-again with Cody Simpson, but we can’t help but wonder if a different partner would propel her into supermodel status. And we desperately need to keep her away from Leonardo.
FLARE suggests: Friday Night Lights alum and fledgling movie star Michael B. Jordan. That would be one beautiful couple.
5. Gugu Mbatha-Raw
This super-stylish Brit, who starred in the criminally underappreciated Beyond the Lights and the festival-lauded film Belle, probably doesn’t need our help, but she’s getting it anyways: she’s stunning, talented, and on the brink of superstardom, so it’s probably best she doesn’t get tied down right now. We think a few flings are in order!
FLARE suggests: Harry Styles. Because WHY NOT?