Top Gun: Aviators and leather jackets? Sign us up. The story of military pilots who risk it all over daddy issues and pride is ripe for a retelling. At the new Top Gun Naval School, the male instructor will be stern but sexy and the pilots will be a group of cocky women who have to suffer a major tragedy in order to put their pride aside and word together as a team. The nickname options are endless.
Fight Club: While we can’t promise that the new members will “never talk about fight club” (let’s be real: they will definitely talk about it), weekly meet-ups to let out pent-up aggression sounds like a less brutal version of CrossFit. And since we’ve already broken one Fight Club rule, we are going to break another and allow one boy to join. Brad Pitt, your membership is still, and always will be, valid.
Superbad: There’s nothing quite as sweet as two inexperienced teenagers trying their damndest to get laid. Maybe the reboot can follow Seth and Evan’s younger sisters as they try to punch their V-card before leaving for college. In the grand tradition of teen-centric movies, a fake ID, poor liquor choices (just say no to Schnapps, kids), major confusion about sex and hilariously filthy language makes for a heart-warming coming-of-age story.
Scarface: There’s nothing dudes love more than a Tony Montana quote. But most don’t know that the story of the flamboyant Cuban drug dealer was partially inspired by real-life Colombian cocaine runner Griselda Blanco, a woman as formidable on the Miami drug scene as her childhood friend Pablo Escobar was in Medellin. (And her diaries revealed that the two may have been lovers.) Hollywood has been circling her life story for years—a movie called The Godmother starring Catherine Zeta-Jones that started way back in 2014 is still in pre-production—but a female Scarface based on the woman who actually inspired the flick could be as theatrical, bloody and quotable as the original.
The Revenant: Remember when Leo really wanted an Oscar and spent months crawling through the snow and growing icicles in his mangy beard to get it? A Canadian woman could fight that bear, backwards and in heels.