Should you forgive him?

Should you forgive him? You’ve got a guy. You’re into him. He’s into you.


He messed up. Should you forgive him?

Here’s the situation: You’ve got a guy. You’re into him. He’s into you. Things are going well and you can see the two of you together for at least a little while longer. Great.

But then he screws up. Big-time. Whatever it is—a lie, a deception, a girl on the side—it’s major. What now? Forgive his blunder? Or send him on his way? If you forgive him, you may run the risk of being treated like a doormat. Send him packing and he might learn the error of his ways, clean up his act and be the perfect boyfriend— to someone other than you. (But I’m sure she’d thank you in her wedding speech.) When trying to decide whether or not to forgive him, consider these three things:

  1. Did he show remorse? If he doesn’t even recognize the slip-up, that’s bad news. Someone who cares (and who’s worth your forgiveness) is considerate of your feelings.
  2. Did he grovel? Forget a simple apology. He should be on his knees, all over your voicemail, and your cubicle should be overrun with flowers. Each guy has his own way of asking your forgiveness, but the point is it should be more than the obligatory “I’m sorry.”
  3. Is he worth the effort? Rebuilding the trust in your relationship will be a lot of work for both of you. Do you really want to invest that time and energy on him? Or do you want to look around for someone else (who maybe won’t mess up)?

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