Ask Miss Wild
Q: I met a nice man who is successful, smart, and good-looking. But, he has massive insecurities from past relationships. Women used him and then dumped him. I think I may have convinced him not to judge me based on his past experiences, but will his insecurities keep ruling him? Will I always be fighting against the women of his past?
A: Probably. What are the chances your encouraging talks here and there have had a significant impact on his deep-rooted self-esteem issues, insecurities, and fears? This man needs a lot of time and a lot of great women (yay, you’re one!) before he feels as ease with himself and with a partner. Enjoy a casual relationship now, and make sure (when the time comes) that you part as friends—that should secure you a what-are-you-up-to call once his emotions are in check.
Q: I’m almost 21 and I’ve never had a boyfriend before. It’s really embarrassing. I don’t want people to know that I don’t have any experience with guys. I don’t know how it got to this. I go to college and I work, and have a pretty normal life, but I just don’t meet people, I guess. I don’t have guy friends and I have one close girl friend (who is also single) that I hang out with. I know the easy thing to say is to get out there and join a club. But I don’t want to do something that is so out of my character just to meet people. What is wrong with me? How else can I fix this?
A: Silly, there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with your approach. You’ve got to suck it up and get out there. Put yourself where the boys are and stop being so shy. And fill your life with more people (both guys and girls). Not only will your social calendar fill up and you’ll feel less insecure, you’ll also cross paths with more potentials. In the end, you’ll meet guys and date when the time’s right for you. There’s really no need to feel embarrassed.
Email me your man dilemma at firstname.lastname@example.org