LOVE AT A DISTANCE

 
Long Distance Love

Thanks to the fact that singles are travelling more than ever— for work and for pleasure, plus the ever present popularity of online dating, more and more of us are finding ourselves caught up in long distance love affairs. It’s no easy feat charming your beau from afar, but before you decide to trade your remote Romeo for a more local lover consider these tips:

Rule 1

Photography by Anthea Simms

 
Long Distance Love

Communicate in some way every day. To maintain an intimate connection with your babe you’ll need to make each other feel involved in the everyday activities. Emails and text messages throughout the day, even if just a few lines, will go a long way in maintaining the warm and fuzzies. Don’t forget the seemingly mundane details: filling him in on the ride to work this morning will let you both know that you’re not missing out just because you may be more than just an area code away. Include cute snapshots to really make him feel in the know. Regular phone sessions will be crucial for more in-depth chatter. If marathon calls don’t fit your budget, especially when you’re saving for your next visit, consider phone cards, instant messaging programs, and Skype—a free online phone service you can take to the next level with the help of a webcam (and perhaps a strategically chosen outfit.)

Rule 2

 
Long Distance Love

Don’t avoid the important questions. While you treasure your exchanges more than your latest shop splurge, don’t ignore the big issues for fear of disturbing the peace. It’s important for both of you to map out your game plan for the relationship. Plus, discussing your future will give you both hope that all of your efforts will pay off. Will you ever consider relocating in the future? Are you agreed that it’s okay to date others? While possibly difficult and awkward to discuss, keeping your expectations crystal clear will save you from possible misunderstanding and heartache down the line. Just remember that while important questions are key, interrogations are not so apropos.

Rule 3

 
Long Distance Love

Consider yourself lucky. Before you drive your girls crazy whining about how much you miss your sweetie, consider the benefits. While everyone around you is complaining about their relationships losing that je ne sais quoi, you and your man are destined for a prolonged “honeymoon effect”. Both of you will maintain a higher level of passion, since you’re more likely to appreciate each other and not take your time together for granted. So when your average Jack and Jill are still arguing about toothpaste in the sink, you’re more likely to be getting steamy between the sheets. Being far apart also allows you to maintain your individuality, something that often gets lost in the couple shuffle. Extra time to keep up with family, friends, and all your fave solo interests is not only a good distraction when loneliness sets in, but also ensures you stay as intriguing as when you first met.

Rule 4

 
Long Distance Love

Find creative ways to bond. Talk about things you would like to do together in the future, anything from making dinner together to visiting a special destination. If you’re interested in seeing the same movie, watch them separately and discuss them together afterwards. Try doing the same with books and music. You can still have shard experiences, even if you’re miles apart. The element of surprise can also go a long way. Sending unexpected notes and small tokens in the mail will no doubt brighten his day. Plus, what goes more perfectly with your après work cocktail than a surprise voicemail message from your crush?

Rule 5

 
Long Distance Love

Know when to call it quits. While this is tough if any relationship, it can be even harder to admit to after you’ve spent hundreds on airfare. Be honest with yourself when you feel like you or your man could be losing interest. Are things beginning to feel one-sided? Do arguments seem frequent and unfounded? Committing to a long-distance relationship is no easy endeavour, but when the whole thing seems more work than play, it’s time to re-evaluate and possibly say your goodbyes. Overall, remain optimistic and focus on the positive points as much as possible. You’ll most likely face more challenges together than most couples ever will. Just think, the bond you build while fighting to stay together will likely last long after the reunion…and the rest of your every day challenges will seem like a snap!

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