About a year ago, while checking myself out in my car’s rear-view mirror, I discovered tiny lines around my eyes. “HEY!” I shouted to nobody. “MY WRINKLES ARE COMING IN!”
Aging happens, and I’m cool with that, but my ears still perked up when I heard about “faux-tox”—a wrinkle solution that doesn’t involve taking needles to your face (and side-eye from your accountant).
It’s face putty, pretty much: a new buy-it-online topical filler called Worryless by Dermaflage, invented by Hollywood special-effects artist Matt Singer, who worked on Star Trek: Nemesis, Bicentennial Man, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The X-Files.
As a Halloween fanatic and one-time theatre brat, I’m familiar with how much silicone can look like actual human (or, *shudder*, zombie) skin.
I’ve also heard that red-carpet makeup artists use it to make A-listers look…well, like A-listers.
Unfortunately, the consumer-ready kits are only meant to eliminate deeper wrinkles than what I’ve earned at this point.
Enter my mother, Annette. At 56, she looks amazing for her age. Heck, for any age. She’s beautiful. She does, however, have vertical forehead lines (a.k.a. the elevens) that match the dramatic “before” pics in the kit’s leaflet. I asked if she’d consider testing it out for the purpose of this story, and she obliged. Moms rule.
The liquid-to-solid medical-grade silicone rubber promises to hide wrinkles instantly and last for up to 36 hours
I brought my subject to the makeshift lab in my kitchen and brushed the liquid primer over her forehead indents to prep the area for max stickiness.
Next, I squeezed some filler from the double-barrelled syringe onto the cute little compact and stirred it. Cool.
The kit comes with tools for applying the product—a plastic toothpick, a spatula, “mixing tips” for the syringe if you want to inject it straight onto skin from the tube—or you can use your fingers.
By the time I chose the spatula, the goo was hard. Oops.
I mixed up another quarter of the syringe’s contents and quickly smoothed it on. Then I added a little more to really cover Mom’s furrows.
After holding the kit’s “texture pad” (a rubbery purple disk that helps the silicone cure in a non-shiny way) between my mom’s eyebrows for 30 seconds, I gazed upon what looked like tiny bits of dried-up beige Play-Doh on her forehead.
“Well…the wrinkle is gone, but it looks like I have keloids now,” said my mom, a registered nurse who uses language I don’t understand sometimes. (Translation: raised scar tissue.)
“Maybe I should try doing it myself?” she suggested.
With the steady hand of a medical professional, she applied the perfect amount directly to her forehead with the syringe tip, producing a surprisingly natural look, albeit a bit off-colour.
Meanwhile, the spackling I’d given my own baby crow’s feet had tightened on top of my skin, forming a super-glossy film that only highlighted the lines around my eyes.
“You look like you have a skin disease,” my mom noted.
My dad and boyfriend concurred over brunch, but they didn’t even notice Mom’s newly smoothed forehead, which is exactly the point, right?
The best part was peeling it all off later: creepy like shedding skin, but fun like pulling dried glue from your fingers. Don’t judge.
1. Assess the sitch.
Make sure your wrinkles are deep enough to actually be filled.
2. Think outside the lines.
The putty can also be used on piercing holes and depressed acne scars.
3. Use way less than you think you need.
The kit promises 60 to 200 uses, but with my heavy hand, I only managed eight lumpy protrusions.
4. Cover up.
If the colour isn’t perfect, add a bit of mineral powder on top.
Don’t let someone 27 years your junior try to cover up the very frown lines they helped give you.