Ask Miss Wild

Miss Wild solves your relationship dilemmas! (1) Is he just using me for sex? (2)We're stuck playing phone tag - does this mean we're not going out again?

Ask Miss Wild

Q: I met a guy nine months ago. Our relationship started off sexually. However, he eventually said he cared a lot for me and didn’t want to hurt me, so we stopped having sex. Our relationship then grew even stronger. Two months ago, he moved away for work. We talked almost every day and sometimes he would visit. But the catch is we had sex again. We promised each other it wouldn’t change anything, and so far it hasn’t. But I love him with all my heart. He loves me, but I don’t know whether its love-love or friend love. What should I do?

A: You need to put some distance between yourself and this guy. When the two of you stopped having sex the first time, that marked the end of your romantic relationship. When you were growing closer and not having sex, you were building a friendship. Guaranteed, this guy sees you as a friend (read: friend love). Now that you’ve had sex again, you’re friends who are having sex. Your feelings are obviously romantic, so you need to take a break for a long while (maybe six months or a year). Either you’ll realize he’s a great friend or he’ll realize you’re a great girlfriend. Then everyone wins. (Or you’ll meet someone else and completely forget about this guy who’s using you for sex.)

Q: I met this guy, we really hit it off, and we decided to go out again. Now we’ve been playing phone tag for almost a week. Are we ever going to go out?

A: Maybe. If both of you are interested, one of you has to make a move. So, providing he actually likes you, what are you waiting for? Get him on the phone and set a date.

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